9/14/19

You See THAT, in THIS?




New York City in 1983, summertime in the capital of the world, a day when the streets poured forth the loathsome smell of festering garbage because the sanitation workers union was on strike, a day that was one helluva stinker.

Henry blue, sitting in front of his typewriter, musing on—how to write when blue? 10 years ago he was bogged down in a drawn-out depression. Maybe, feeling blue would only last a day or so this time, no worry. Any day he’d be on-high again, running-riot on the dopamine trail, yee-ha!

His Cuban wife Lucia walks in his office wearing a bra and some thong underpants, hugging and kissing him, saying, 

Poor bebe? Madre has especial medicina!

She wrenches a 1/4 ounce of cocaine from her bra, sprinkling some on Henry's desk and dividing the crystal powder into 6 hefty lines. Lucia had scored from her Cuban hairdresser, Valencia who peddled dope to her clients. The fun couple proceed to snort up the goods and he says, 

darling, go to the kitchen and make a pitcher of mojitos!

The dopamine cowboy rides a bucking Appaloosa to Mars, going from zilch and empty to I’ve got big plans, I can do anything in the world, begining to madly type a story for HEADBANGER Magazine. 

New York City is America’s heroin capital. In the 70’s the ironclad Rockefeller laws, yellow propaganda that monikered heroin as a devilish drug that drove black men to crime, unfairly pointing the finger at black men even though middle-class whites were the majority of heroin users in the city at the time.  

In the 80s city people of every kind would go to seedy single room welfare hotels with names like— Carlton Arms, Fifth Street Inn, and Uptowner to snort and shoot D, for Downtown which was sold for 3 to 400 dollars a gram in bags with brand names stamped on them, like —Poison, Overdose, Seven to Life, Comatose, No Exit or Once Ain’t Enough, labeled by dealers with dark senses of humor.

Richard Lloyd a guitarist with the band, Television, who played at CBGB, an East Manhattan dive bar that featured famous punk and new wave bands, tells this story about dope use in the city,

It grew to such an extent in Alphabet City that there were places where there were lines as if you were going to a hit movie. There was a door that you put your money in the slot at the top, you said what you wanted and the dope came out the bottom, whether you wanted heroin or cocaine. On the line were, old ladies, guys with briefcases and suits, drawn-out junkies, ordinary people, rock people, people that you recognized. Employees of the dealers would police the lines, they’d be like, single file, no singles, fives and tens only, tell the man what you want, put the money in and get off the block right away.

One guy, a writer by the name of Gunner Grim, decided he wanted to try junk, since a dealer hung out in the doorway of his building he didn’t have to go far, and he says,

It was essentially as easy and sometimes easier where I lived to score than it was to buy a taco. 

When Gunner first tried heroin he simply left his apartment and bought from the first person who offered, saying,

I went into McDonald’s with this guy who then reached in and pulled a bag out of his ass. I was a, well, I guess that’s what happens. 

William Burroughs the beat author who wrote Junky, Queer, Naked Lunch, and much more was a regular heroin user that wrote junked up, writing junked propelled him into heterogeneous spheres where he referenced parts of his work.

Perversely, for Burroughs and other junks, using heroin was better than the alternative— not doing it.  Because in his words,

living the life of an American businessman, when his organism reaches maturity it can only start dying. A junkie on the other hand, exists in a state of constant physical emergency. With every hit, a junkie dies, as the drug’s effects dissipate, he is reborn. The junkie knows life because he has an intimate knowledge of death, unlike our American businessman, the junkie knows himself. 

Heroin has put the kibosh on many lives, but it has been a major-league muse for artist such as Samuel Coleridge, Art Pepper, Pablo Picasso, Baudelaire, Ray Charles, Keith Richards, and Charlie Parker, just a few on the dubious scroll of ill-fame.

Is the heroin high worth the low? It’s highly unlikely. Initially, shooting junk gives you a blissful, peaceful feeling, you feel like you’re encased in psychic armor that nothing in the world can penetrate as it transports you to a place somewhere deep inside. 

But, the feeling doesn’t last forever, the more junk you use the more your body adapts to it. Junks are prisoners of their addiction who spend their days and nights on streets hustling— peddling their asses as well as committing a host of other scams and rip-offs. Of course, celebrity junks don’t count, they don’t need to hustle to buy dope. 

In the end, junks don’t get high, shooting up merely takes away the sick feeling of withdrawal. 

Henry preferred psychedelic drugs and booze, avoiding amphetamines and opiates. At one point in his life, before he married Lucia, he was fucking  2 to 3 different women a week, women he met in bars and cafes. People who knew him seemed concerned, telling him he was a sex addict, but he figured they were jealous.  

For a period he survived on crazy pay, until his Uncle Seymour Lucowski, who owned a coat hanger factory in Pennsylvania died, ponying up a hefty stipend for Henry, which liberated him— like Bukowski receiving his first royalty check from book sales and quitting his job at the post office. 

To get crazy pay you had to be certifiably nuts, which for Henry meant reporting to the Queens Welfare Office every 90 days to be reevaluated by the shrinks, who diagnosed him as having an antisocial disorder, as well as addictions to drugs, alcohol, and sex. The diagnosis was only partly true, he was an addict all right, but sex addiction? What a crock!  

As for having an antisocial disorder, he was robustly friendly and outgoing, except when it came to the shrinks at the welfare office, who he recognized as god-players with mega-egos educated to see through and diagnosis their patients, but the shrinks were clueless when it came to their own problems. At any rate, he played their games to keep the checks coming. 

As the sun sets in Queens Lucia walks into Henry’s office and asks, 

que pasa, bebe? And he answers, 

Well, my enchilada, how bout we take the A-train to Manhattan, get somethin to eat and catch Joseph Beuys's performance opus at MoMA tonight? Looking perplexed she says, 

enchilada? I’m your enchilada? How corny! He laughs saying,

We’re very fortunate to live in New York darling, the city is rich in culture. Anyway, I want to write a review on Joseph Beuys's performance, I Like America, and America Likes Me.  

They dress for the evening, Lucia wearing ragged blues jeans, a white t-shirt that reads,

                                  WEIRD

                                    BUT

                                   SEXY

and pink high heels. She’s braless and her thimble size nipples are evident, extending from under her t-shirt. Henry in all black, a sleeveless Levi shirt and jeans, wearing his long white hair in dual braids, Native Indian style. 

The hippest couple in the city walk to the Flushing Street Station and catch the A-train to 42 Street in Manhattan, where they exit, going up the steps to street level and walking to Morning Star Restaurant, a Greek-owned and operated 24-hour joint that served a variety of American food. A big size older black women walks to their  booth, saying with a smile,

we don’t have specials, just good food, Whatta you all have? Henry orders,

I'll have a club sandwich and my wife will have Eggs Benedict!

Lucia wanted to try Eggs Benedict because none of the cantinas in Cuba served it. 

As the food is served, Henry asks, 

How bout a pitcher of Michelob mixed with tomato juice? Then saying to Lucia, 

MoMA is just a hop, skip and jump from here, before the happening Joseph Beuys likes to kibitz with museum-goers in the lobby, he’s a hoot and not young, he was a gunner on a Stuka during World War 2. She asks, 

Is he a Nazi? Henry laughs and says, 

My god no, he’s way nuts babe, he believes his work heals his audience. She wonders,

how? He answers,

the healing that happens when the audience is transported out of their 9-5 commonplace world for a few hours.

After eating they order another pitcher of beer with tomato juice. Between swigs of beer, they walk to the WC to snort cocaine. The waitress figures something is going on, walking to their table and saying, 

are you all OK? Henry answers, 

Oh, yes ma’am, you see we’re both diabetic, we went to the restroom to inject our insulin because we're shy and don’t want people here to get the wrong idea.

Henry was a skilled liar, but whatever came out of his mouth was god’s own truth, he was a writer and good writers are good liars. 

By 830 they are standing in front of MoMA with a small crowd waiting to see the Joseph Beuys performance piece, I Like America, and America Likes Me. They hear a siren and then see a red 1970 Cadillac Hightop Superior ambulance moving slowly towards the museum, which parks at the entrance. The back door of the ambulance is pulled open and a body covered from head to toe with thick grey industrial felt in a gurney, followed by a coyote in a cage are rolled into MoMA by helpers. 

The small crowd pays 20 bucks a head to MoMA ushers and is led downstairs to the basement. Henry shows his press pass saying,

HEADBANGER Magazine, I’m writing a review, and the usher says,

you’re Henry Lucowski, I’m a fan! And he answers, 

call me Henry.

The couple walks downstairs to a cement room which is the size of a basketball court and divided in half by a wall of chicken wire. They sit in folding chairs with the others, gazing through the chicken wire they see a thin man with pronounced cheek-bones wearing a 40s style Fedora sitting on a pile of hay holding a wooden cane upright and eyeballing a coyote. The wild dog-like animal is dragging a man-size piece of industrial felt about, shaking its head violently, trying to rip the felt apart. Beuys then begins tugging the felt the coyote is wrestling with and the 2 struggle to gain control of the material until tired. Lucia says to Henry,  

Jesucristo, what is this? He tells her what he thinks speaking softly,

he’s a shaman filling the emptiness of the western material world with felt, as he evokes the power of the coyote spirit. 

Que? You see THAT, in THIS? 

I Like America, and America Likes me went on for 3 days, until Joseph Beuys, wrapped in rough felt was taken away in the same Cadillac Ambulance with the coyote, who he finally bonded with. 

Henry and Lucia ride a taxi back to Queens after viewing I Like America, and America Likes Me for an hour. Henry feels uplifted, but Lucia is unconvinced and at a loss for words. 

9/1/19

You're a Whore, Lucowski!







Henry waking at noon hears the sounds of Afro-Cuban Jazz on WXBQ, Hot 97. Walking to the kitchen for coffee in his underwear he sees Lucia his Cuban wife of a year dancing naked in the living room, saying as she moves about wildly, 

Oh, darling, the musica Cubana makes me hot, when I hear it I just have to get up and move! Rubbing his eyes he says,  

How bout a drink babe? 

In the kitchen he brews Columbia Coffee and mixes a pitcher of bloody marys, pouring a tumbler for Lucia who’s exhausted, laying on the living room sofa with a towel on her head. Then, the phone rings, it’s Dave Spleen, editor of the Big Apple free rag, HEADBANGER Magazine. Henry picks up the phone and Dave, speaking faster than a speeding bullet says, 

Henry, baby, your bit on Thomas Pynchon in the last issue was tits, New Yorkers love your stuff, you the man baby, how’s your sexpot wife? Christ almighty she’s hot, she bustin you nut or what? Anyway, I want you to do a review on Edward Albee’s play, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe, it’s playing at the SoHo Playhouse tonight at 9, take Lucia, there’ll be a couple tickets waiting for you, OK babe, ciao!

That was it, he had answered the phone and before he had a chance to say hi Dave megamouth Spleen is spewing non-stop blah, blah, blah!  

Edward Albee was a born misfit and highly revered Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright. His play Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe trashes the myth of the perfect American family and shreds 60’s conjecture on life, love and domestic codification to bits. 

Albee’s writing style has been labeled absurd realism— the settings, dialogue, locations, and conflicts are everyday stuff, but the mainstream certitude of the opening scenes eventually nosedives into mayhem and the illusion of certitude crumbles, leaving the characters of his plays in an empty, uncaring universe. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe is a paragon of absurd realism.  

At 6 PM Henry and Lucia dress to go out, she puts on a strapless black dress and wraps up in a light shawl, he wears faded, ripped blue jeans and a white oxford shirt. They walk the short distance to 104th Street station, walking down the steps into the subway tunnel, inside there's a bum passed out in a pool of vomit on the cement floor, Lucia who has a nose like a Bluetick Coonhound says, 

dios mios, the smell of vomito is awful! Henry trying to reassure her because he loves riding the subway says,  

the city’s new mayor, Giuliani, is cleaning the transit authority up! She rolls her eyes and says, 

tell the pendejo mayor to bring a mop and clean up the vomito! 

The train stops at Amsterdam Street Station and a knockout ebony gal in an evening gown boards, gently picking up her viola from its case, playing a freaky, melodic version of Duke Ellington’s Never no Lament. Henry nudges Lucia and says, 

you won't find entertainment like this riding in a taxi, you get a Rastafarian driver blaring Reggae on his radio. She’s heard enough and says, 

you love the subway, I got it bebe! 

They exit at Canal Street Station in Soho and walk 7 blocks to Chinatown for dinner at Chow’s Noodle House, John Chow, Henry’s pal, sells cocaine as a side-line and is a good fellow of the White Lantern, a branch of the Chinatown mafia. 

Chow greets the couple warmly as they walk into the noodle house, which is packed with Chinese people. The couple follow him to a small shuttered room with a circular table inside. Chow shakes Lucia's hand and says, 

your wife is exquisite Henry, I’m attracted to Latin women, Chinese girls don't have curves, they don't have much meat on them. I’m going to cook for you tonight, and have a drink on me! 

A Chinese waiter who has a red apron wrapped around his waist brings a bottle of Yamazaki 12, bottles of soda water, and a bucket of ice, setting the drink tray near the large table, Lucia says

bebe, the play starts at 9, don’t drink too much, and Henry answers, 

don’t worry the curtain won’t open till 10, let’s have a couple of drinks, Japanese booze is highly refined, you can’t get drunk on it.

The waiter brings a tray, placing plates of tea roasted duck, potstickers, won ton soup, Buddha’s delight, crab fried rice and a pot of black tea in the middle of the round table, John Chow sits with the couple to eat, as they fill their plates Chow asks Henry, 

my friend, I have a few kilos of cocaine are you interested? 

Before traveling to Cuba he was the exclusive dealer to the Hassidic community in Brooklyn Heights. Younger Hassidic men enjoyed coking up before prayer, saying the coke made them feel closer to g-d! He answers saying,

if you remember, a group of Chinatown gangbangers threatened to kill me, they wanted me out of Brooklyn Heights which they thought was theirs. The risk just isn’t worth it anymore John. 

By 915 they have polished off the bottle of Japanese whiskey and are more than wasted, Henry has a review to write, so they thank John Chow and catch a taxi outside of the noodle house to Soho Playhouse, it’s 10 blocks or so, the driver is Palestinian and the Bedouin music of Ya Abayad is blaring from his radio. 

They make it to Soho Playhouse by 945, pick up their tickets and are seated in the 2nd-row, middle. In a few minutes the curtain rises for act 1— George and Martha a middle-aged couple come home from a faculty mixer at New Carthage College in New England. He is a washed-up associate history professor and she is the daughter of the college president. The booze-hounds and hot-blooded maladapts had lost their capacity to feel over the years and had found they could drum up a little passion by arguing violently. The arguments eventually evolve into fine-tuned verbal-sparing and weird gamesmanship. 

George pours a couple night-caps of rye whiskey and says, 

I'm tired, dear. It's late.

I don't know what you're tired about.
You didn't do anything today.
You didn't have any classes.

Well, if your father didn't set up
these god damn Saturday-night orgies—

That's just too bad about you, George.
Well, that's how it is anyway.
You didn't do anything.
You never do anything. You never mix.
You just sit around and talk crap.

Martha invites Nick and Honey over for a late-night drink. He’s an aspiring new biology professor and she is his withdrawn, humdrum wife. Martha hears a knock at the door, let’s the couple in and says,

Hi there.

Nick and Honey don’t know they are entering shark-infested waters and Nick says,   

We made it.

You must be our little guest. Just ignore old sourpuss here. Come on in kids. Just hand your coats and stuff to old sourpuss here. 

Well, perhaps we shouldn’t have come.
Yes, yes it is late.

Late? Are you kidding? Just throw your stuff anywhere and come on in. Anywhere, furniture, floor, doesn’t make any difference this place.

Nick, I told you we shouldn’t have come.

I said come on in, now for Christ sake come on in.

Oh dear, oh dear. 

George begins pushing drinks, double shots of rye whiskey on Nick and Honey. 

George and Martha rake Nick and Honey through the coals for the next 2 scenes, surgically interrogating the young couple, knifing through their moral certitude, discovering weaknesses and using the findings to sadistically roast the couple. George and Martha were dangerous to themselves and others. 

In the final scene, George announces they are going to play one more game— bringing up baby, riling Martha by saying their baby, who has supposedly died in a car accident hated her. 
Finally, after George and Martha have dragged the young couple through the wrath of hell-fire, Nick catches on and they go home, jumping out of the frying pan.

In the last scene George and Martha stair unblinkingly at their decaying life. The ending is an exorcism—George finally wins the war, as he kills off their imaginary son, exposing him as an illusion. At this point Martha is in pieces, whipped into submission. 

As the curtain drops, the audience applauds unenthusiastic, Henry looks at Lucia, who is taken back and somewhat shocked by what she has seen. Then as the playgoers walk towards the exits, a stagehand walks up to Henry and says politely, 

Mr. Lucowski Samatha Goldface, would like to speak with you in her dressing room, and Henry says, 

call me Henry!

The couple follow the stagehand to Goldface’s dressing room and walk-in without knocking. Samatha Goldface played Martha, as she shakes Henry’s hand she drops a 500 dollar bill in his shirt pocket and says, 

darling, I really, really, need a rave in HEADBANGER Magazine tomorrow! He smiles and says, 

I got ya Samantha!

The following morning Henry is up by noon, writing the review on Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe.

Thumbs up and kudos to the cast of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe at the Soho Playhouse—Samantha Goldface as Martha is disturbing and terrific, Randal Wilcum’s George is gut-wrenching and brilliant, Danny Relish’s Nick, catches fire eventually, Cindy Spasm’s Honey, is a church mouse who whimpers and can't seem to roar. 
This take-your-breath-away play will put stars in your eyes as it disturbs you, it will be performed nightly at 9 PM, for the next year, maybe. Get out of your easy chair and go see it!

Lucia looks over Henry’s shoulder, reading as he types and says, 

You're a whore, Lucowski!