Stock Island Drive-in Theater

On this day in 1985, the Florida Supreme Court overturned the death sentence, and jubilation was felt on death rows everywhere in the State. Death row inmates passed rotgut hooch from cell to cell as the partying continued into the wee hours. The hooch was stewed by wrapping fruit or potatoes in a cheesecloth, hanging the stew under bunks until it fermented. 

Henry and Lucia had lived in their new house in Key West for a month. Waking at 10 AM, they go outside and sit at a wicker table on the front porch, eating waffles with Vermont maple syrup and drinking Mexican coffee. Pedro their pet woodpecker pecks on a waffle, particularly
enjoying the special syrup, eating like a bird. Lucia says,  

take me to the beach darling, we can take the family! And he says.

I ran into a Hemingway clone in the market and when I told him we had 2 Chihuahuas he said, 

oh my gosh, go to Dog Beach, and don’t forget the Moon Dog Cafe, it’s doggy friendly and everything is homemade!

The Hemingway clone was over the top gay, a nice guy who would be happier as a Tennessee Williams clone.

They dress for Dog Beach, Lucia puts on a knit thong bikini, shorts, and a tank top. She would test the water at Dog Beach to see if men stared at her, which she hated. Henry wears a pair of checkered boxer shorts and a white t-shirt. She says to him,

darling, I hate it when men stare at me, but, I enjoy feeling naked in a thong. He smiles saying, 

which part of being a goddess bothers you? Would you rather be deformed? Pissed she says, 

shut up, Henry! I don’t want to hear your Freudian fiilosofica shit, it’s not easy being a chica! You know what it’s like to have a cono full of sangre every month? What it does to your head? He laughs saying, 

sangre meaning blood or wine in Spanish? A pussy full of wine? In disgust she says, 

estas loco Henry, let’s go pendajo!

The couple followed by the Chi's and Pedro bring a large Coleman Coolbox to the station wagon and drive to a Shell station to get gas. Henry asks the attendant where Dog Beach is? The kid has pink bangs covering his face which he incessantly flips from one side of his face to the other, exposing an eye to see,  he says stuttering, 

take Tru Tru man a Avenue to Re Re Re nolds Stra eat! Henry not wanting to burden the kid pays and drives away, saying to Lucia, 

the ka ka kid is a fa fa fucking mess! She replies,

stop it Henry that’s aw aw aw ful! 

They laugh all the way to Dog Beach. 

At the beach they take the coolbox from the back of the station wagon carrying it to an area where then can rent chairs and umbrellas, the Chis and Pedro follow. The couple didn’t like the sun, Lucia was born dark, and didn’t want to get darker, Henry had milky-skin which burnt and blistered in the sun.   

Getting settled in the beach chairs, Lucia takes off her tank top and shorts, laying down with her thong on. Her body is sculpted from head to toe and her waist-length brass-colored hair glows in the sun. Beachgoers, both men women eyeball her as they walk by. She does her best to ignore the unwanted attention as Henry laughs saying,

they think you’re a famous porn star! She comes back,

then, they look at your crotch pendajo and see your teeny, weeny, pene and think, he's no porn star!  

Dog Beach is a leash-free area where dogs are liable for their behavior and can be 86’d or fined for infractions the same as NFL players. The Chis chase each other in the sand, play fighting. Pedro thinks he’s a seagull, flying high over the ocean and from time to time diving like a Stuka plane, pulling out of the dive before he hits the water, knowing he can't float or swim.

At some point, a male Great Dane named Haufman tears into Che who clamps onto the large dog's tail with his muzzle, holding tight as Haufman twists and spins like a bucking bronco trying to get at Che. Henry runs to help, unable to budge Haufman. 

Then, Pedro drops out of the sky like Superman, landing on Haufman, perching on his back, pecking the large dog repeatedly like would a Ponderosa pine. The Great Dane backs off and Che escapes as a Beach Patrolman shows, throwing down a red card and 86 ing Haufman. The big dog’s owners try to get the call reversed, unsuccessfully.

Lucia had stayed clear of the rumble and is relaxing in her beach chair as she pulls 2 cold beers out of the coolbox, thinking Henry might need one, he says,

you could have helped me you know, I couldn’t budge Haufman, he’s massive! She says raising her eyebrows, 

darling, if I had gotten into the free-for-all, my thong would have snapped open, it’s very delicate, held together by a few strands of yarn.

By sundown, the couple's loaded and hungry. They walk across the street, holding the Chis as Pedro follows airmail, to a pet-friendly restaurant called the Moon Dog Cafe, a place that's straight out of the pages of the Whole Earth Magazine. Inside they sit at a table, an older hippy woman approaches the crew to take their order saying, 

we’ve had a lot of folks here with parrots, but never a woodpecker! Henry laughs,

his name is Pedro, we’re thinking of changing his name to Superman, he just took on a Great Dane at Dog Beach, saving the day! The waitress says, 

oh, that must have been Haufman, he comes here with his owners all the time, I’m surprised, he's usually well behaved! Henry cuts in saying, 

we need to order sweetie! How bout a pitcher of rum and Coca Cola, 2 Cajun chicken sandwiches on rye, hash browns, a Caesar salad with bacon, and a bowl of sunflower seeds for the hero!

They pour themselves glasses of rum and coke, downing them as they eat. Pedro puffs his chest and ruffles his feathers proudly as he pecks at his well-earned seeds, Lucia comments,

darling, I think Pedro's getting a big head! 

They laugh, pay the bill, walk to the station wagon, load it and drive home where they shower and change. Henry had heard of a drive-in theater on Stock Island, and he wanted Lucia to see it. He finds the address of the theater in the Yellow Pages. 

Stock Island is north of Key West on Highway1, like the other islands in the Keys, it began as a knob of coral rock appearing as the ocean dropped a thousand years ago.

The island is unincorporated and is known as a no-man’s land. It’s a place where gangsters with names like—Joey the Chin, Tony the Weasel, and Rico the Leg traveled to lay low and hideout from the law in the 20s and 30s.

They leave Pedro in the house, letting him cool down after a busy day, then driving in the station wagon with the Chis north on Highway 1. At Stock Island he wheels the station wagon left, following College Avenue until he reaches the drive-in theater. It’s on a sand jetty with a large screen at the end near the ocean.

Stopping the wagon at the ticket booth, Henry rolls down his window, saying, 

Just 2 tickets sweety, the dogs won’t watch the film, they’re asleep. The high school girl is chewing a wad of gum, looking bored she says

7 dollars sir, enjoy the film.

They drive on the sand, directed by  2 guys with Detroit Bumper hair cuts in overalls who resemble Joe Dirt. They wave flashlights towards a parking place, Henry spins in. 

The couple opens the windows in the wagon, enjoying the sea breeze which smells like a mixture of— seaweed, tropical bush, and fish. 

Lucia watches intently as Henry attaches the clipped edge of the soft grey metal speaker on the inside of the half-closed car window. The experience was new to her because there aren't any drive-in theaters in Cuba,  she says, 

me enchanta darling, is this a make-out place? He comments, 

yes, darling, making out at drive-in theaters is as American as apple pie, she wonders, 

apple pie is American? Then, a beam of light reaches the large screen in front of them, and he answers, 

Oh yeah, babe!

A muffled tin-like sound comes through the small speaker as a cartoon comes on— a box of popcorn and a cup of Coca Cola, both with rounded eyeballs and insect-like legs dance as a voice says, 

don’t forget to pick up some delicious soft drinks and popcorn at the concessions stand in the rear of the parking lot. 

The film, The Blob comes on the screen and Henry laughs saying,

you’re gonna love this babe, it’s a cheesy B-movie!

The opening score, Beware of the Blob by Burt Bacharach comes through the low-quality speaker, the song is ghoulish Broadway and it never made Billboard.

As the film begins a teenage kid named Steve played by 28-year-old Steve Mc Queen witnesses a meteor crash in a cornfield, going to investigate he finds an old man who is being eaten up by what looks like a hand full of purple jam. Convinced the Blob is ghoul, the kid runs to town to report the incident and the sheriff thinks he’s crazy.

The flesh-eating Blob is without vertebrate or soul and grows larger with each living organism it gobbles up. The film which in theory is terrifying comes off as goofy. Lucia laughs and says,

el show es estupido, not scary! Henry smiling says, 

let's smoke a joint to get in the groove.

The Blob continues to expand, becoming a semi-truck size ball of goo that oozes into town, squeezing into the Colonial Theatre, absorbing a few hapless movie-goers.

As the Blob seeps out of the theater, the young hero, Steve, sprays it down with a fire extinguisher, noticing the CO 2 causes the jelly belly Blob to recoil. Steve then convinces a mob of angry town folk to get every available fire extinguisher and in the middle of main street, they spray the bugger, freezing it in place. Later the Air Force shows and halls the big-size ball of man-eating frozen jelly to a transport plane that drops it into an artic wasteland somewhere up north. 

Henry wheels his station wagon through the sandlot, heading south on Highway 1 to Key West, asking Lucia if she enjoyed the quirky flick and she says, 

the Blob is like Castro and the Socialist Revolution, eating everything in its path until the revolution eats up the world. Henry saying, 

babe, what an impressive use of metaphor! Wondering she asks,

what’s a metaphor?

The Gingerbread House

It was a sunny day in Key West, fall 1985. A day every boat in the harbor was rented, not to fishermen though, every boat was rented to treasure hunters searching the depths of the ocean for pirate booty. 

Henry and Lucia celebrate their 1st morning in Key West, sipping coffee mixed with Irish whiskey on the porch, he paged through The Key West Citizen, saying,

the temperature in Queens is in the low 30s! 

It was a sure bet he would announce the temperature in Queens every morning. Thoughts of New Yorkers freezing empowered them.  

The Chihuahuas, Che, and Mia are playing in the yard, running after one other, and the couple's baby woodpecker, Pedro, has found his beak, which he uses to peck holes in the palms trees.

Whiffs of Night Blooming Jasmine disseminating from the jasmine bush under their bedroom window reminds the couple they are living in the tropics. 

After breakfast Henry gets to work on a story for HEADBANGER Magazine, realizing he needs a fax machine he stops typing and says to Lucia,

baby, let's go for a ride, I need a fax machine and we need groceries.

The couple dresses casually in tank tops, shorts and rubber slippers. Lucia  looks like Sophia Loren and has bronze coloured curly hair. She would look sensational in a potato sack. Henry has long white hair he wears braided.

They go outside and get into their station wagon, After driving 20 minutes they realize there are only 4 main streets in Key West. 

He pulls into a shopping mall called Inland Center, which was built in the 60s, the shops are single story with plate glass window fronts. They walk into Key West Office Supply and a salesman approaches quick-time saying, 

welcome to Key West Office Supply folks, our motto is, we sell quality for less!

Henry smiles, the old hat salesman reminded him of the character Shelly Levine in the play Glengarry Glen Ross, he says, 

I need a fax machine, something durable whata-ya got? The salesman says, 

you're my first customer so let’s make a deal!

They follow him to a counter with 10 fax machines on it, he points to a fax machine saying, 

the Epson 350 X, portable, dependable, compact and fast, connect this little guy to your phone line and you’re be ready for business! It's yours for 285! Henry lying says, 

we saw the same model at Buddy’s Office Supply for 275! The salesman quickly says, 

270 out the door!

Henry agrees, pays and the couple is out the door, putting the machine in the back of the station wagon. On their way to Winn-Dixie Lucia says, 

you’re awful, lying to save 15 dollars, is that how gringos do business? He says, 

babe, come on,  you can't con a con, the salesman knows every trick in the book.

In Winn-Dixie they fill 2 shopping carts, one with booze and the other with food— cases of beer and Coca-cola, bottles of rum, whiskey, baguettes, dried black beans, pork, chicken, rice, biscuit mix, honey, olive oil, salt, pepper and 3 sweet potato pies. Basic kitchen stuff needed for the new house. They drive home, unloading the food and booze in the kitchen. 

Henry then moves furniture around making the den into his office, putting the fax machine on a small table and connecting it. He calls Dave Spleen his editor in New York. Dave speaking in a flash beats him to the punch, saying,

Henry baby, last week's story, Pedro the Lucky Bird was a home run, our readers loved it! Every magazine gone within a few hours! Jumping in quickly he says, 

Dave, jot my number down, 306 251 7867, Lucia and I love it here, our house is delightful, fly down with Goldy and visit us, Dave says, 

sweet, love to go, but, I’m busy, busy, busy— gotta go, gotta deadline to meet!

As Dave hangs up Lucia is in the living room dragging a large box, yelling for Henry to come and help, he asks, 

what’s that? An inflatable swan? She says, 

close but no cookie, it’s a kiddy pool for the Chihuahuas and Pedro the baby woodpecker. 

Sitting on the living room floor, Lucia inflates the pool with a bicycle pump— pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling. Then, carrying the small pool out the front door, placing it in the middle of the front lawn and filling it with water from a hose.  

The couple rock on the porch swing,  smoking a joint. The Chis, Che, and Mia approach the new pool with caution, smelling it, then jumping in and paddling about. Pedro does a nosedive from a palm tree, underlining a point to the Chis,

don’t leave me out! 

Pedro lands on the round rubber skirt of the pool, perching and taking a drink, because he couldn’t swim. Henry says, 

babe, we’re only 50 miles from Cuba, why don't you call your mother.  

Using the new fax phone she dials 011 and the number, her mother answers, 

hola? Lucia speaking Spanish says, 

mother como estas? We’re living in Key West, it’s just 37 kilometers from Havana, we want to get you out of Cuba, her mother says,

oh no, I’m scared to ride in the rickety boats, scared of the Cubano policia and scared of the criminales in the boats! My life is fine with your help bebe.

Lucia and Henry sent her 600 dollars a month, the mother and daughter talk for an hour, then saying good-bye. Lucia pouting says to Henry, 

Darling, let’s get loaded tonight, we can celebrate our first day in Key West! He says, 

we don’t have to invent reasons to get loaded, we’re loaded sun up till sundown,  she answers, 

Jesucristo bebe, picky, picky, don’t be so filosofico, que mierda? He says, 

gotta go, gotta deadline to meet! Lucia commenting cynically,

Henry, el dos-peso Dave Spleen! Laughing he says, 

oh, you noticed darling, I do have to work on a story though!

The opening scene is in Tennessee William’s vanilla colored gingerbread house on Duvall Street in Key West. 

The small house is filled with books and art. He is up by 5 AM every morning with a pitcher of Bloody Marys next to his typewriter, the booze summons up his courage.

He types as he peers out a window at the swimming pool in his backyard which is surrounded by dead weeds and thirsty wilted flowers. His mind traveling beyond the limits of the backyard to his literary world— a world where lies replace straight-forward speaking, strong-arm tactics suck love dry and being alone is the human condition. 

The subtotal of these anxieties and his own fear are the seeds that fuel his endeavor to heal a nefarious world with poetic vision.  

From 1939 to 1957, Williams wrote a string of masterpieces— The Glass Menagerie, A Streetcar Named Desire and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, becoming America’s most celebrated playwright, earning 2 Pulitzer Prizes, 3 New York Drama Critics’ Circle awards and a Tony.

Some credit Williams with queering Broadway, but Broadway was born queer and didn’t need his help. 

He met and fell in love with Frank Merlo in 1947 while living in New Orleans. Merlo, a Sicilian who served in the U.S. Navy during World War 2 and was a steadying influence on William's booze and doped filled chaotic life. When Merlo died of lung cancer in 1961 it spun Tennessee into a deep funk. He had battled depression most of his life, living in constant fear, belieiving he was going insane. 

During the period after Merlo’s death, Williams used more than ever. One night while staying in the Hotel Elysee, he was deep into stupefaction. While reaching for a bottle of Oxycodone and trying to open it with his mouth he swallowed the bottle cap and choked to death—an inglorious way to die. 

In March 1983 he was buried in St. Louis at the insistence of his sister Rose. This ironic because Tennessee hated St. Louis and spent most of his life running away the city.

As the sun goes down, Henry raps up the bit on Tennessee Williams, the golden boy who wrote The Night of the Iguana. A play Henry was gone on, built on the Reverend T. Lawrence Shannon's right of passage as it transgresses through a life long cycle of passion playing on quilt.

Henry and Lucia drive their Vespa to Sloppy Joe’s, the most celebrated joint in the world, amongst tourists. The bar is on Duvall Street, not far from Tennessee William’s gingerbread house. 

They sit at the outside bar, surrounded by Earnest Hemingway look-a-likes—local guys who sat in Sloppy Joe's every night looking at each other and at their images in the mirror behind the bar. A bartender who doesn’t look like Hemingway asks, 

whata-ya have folks? Henry answers, 

a pitcher of Coors Light mixed with Clamato, a crab cake sandwich, a Cubano sandwich, Cajun fries, and a Greek Salad!

As they work on their 2nd pitcher of beer, the food comes, it’s unremarkable basic tavern fodder which Hemingway would be unable to stomach, regardless the Hemingway clones gobble it up. 

The couple asks for a doggy bag and waits for the bill. Dropping from the sky, like Superman, Pedro their baby woodpecker lands on Lucia’s shoulder, pecking at her hair and she says, 

I think our baby missed us!

Pedro, the Lucky Bird

It was1985, a regular day, a day the gods slept through, a day New Yorkers were facing some of the coldest temperatures ever recorded in the 20th Century as an arctic air mass moved through the air.

Winter, less than a month away. For Henry’s Cuban wife Lucia, Norman Rockwell painted images of snowmen, snowball fights, cozy fireplaces, hot chocolate, and sleigh rides were discomforting. Henry tried to encourage her to embrace winter like an old uncle, but her reply was always the same, 

darling, if you love me, take me to Miami, so we can escape the awful winter! 

Sure, why not? A lot of New Yorkers do winters in Florida, I can fax stories to HEADBANGER Magazine— Key West is a cool place, OK, It’ll work! Lucia jumps in place, hugging him, saying, 

gracias, darling, we'll drive and take the Chihuahuas!

The phone rings, it’s his editor Dave Spleen, 

Henry my man, last week's story, By Blood a King, and in Heart a Clown was a non-starter, readers thought it was dirty, you’re no Henry Miller, stick to what you know.  

OK, Dave, anyway, Lucia and I are driving to Florida tomorrow, how bout I fax stories to you on the fly? 

Fine, BUT! I’m not gonna bankroll the trip! As usual, you'll be paid per story! Gotta go, gotta deadline to meet.

Dave Spleen’s reputation with journalist in the city was on par with Al Goldstein, publisher of Screw Magazine. Other than Screw, HEADBANGER was the only surviving underground paper from the 60s. The rag made revenue from advertising and want ads. Nobody knew if Dave had money or not, but his wife Goldy wore more gold than a Bronx pimp. 

Henry's Uncle Victor Lucowski, who had owned a coat hanger factory in Pennsylvania up to his death, left him a trust. What he made from writing was party money spent on booze and dope.

Lucia walks in his office and he says, 

Let’s pack darling, order pizza, we'll go to bed early and get up early so we'll miss the morning traffic. 

They pack summer clothes, shorts, tank tops, rubber slippers, gym shoes, floppy straw hats, a few sexy thong bikinis for Lucia. As well as plenty of party goods kept in an iced down Coleman cool box — beer, sandwiches, and an ounce of killer weed.

The couple dressed down and wouldn’t be caught dead in a South Miami disco or club, preferring nature and real-life bonafide shit.

At 3 AM little Mia is licking Henry’s face and wakes him up, in turn, he wakes up Lucia kissing her and licking her face, she says, 

stop it, Mia!

They shower and dress, putting on shorts, gym shoes and sweatshirts, leaving and locking the door to their apartment from the lobby. Each one pulls a suit-case on wheels and the leashed Chis follow, walking themselves, dragging their chains behind them. The foursome takes the elevator to the basement where Henry’s car is parked. 

He has a 1975 Chevy Malibu Wagon V8 with sports suspension. The rig was 10 years old with only 30,000 miles on it. He rarely drove it in the city, using it for summer trips on the Northeast coast to Vermont and New Hampshire mostly. 

He puts the backseat of the station wagon down and locks it, which leaves a large space which he covers with a straw mat, loading the suitcases, and strapping the cool box to the back of the front seat. 

So, the saga begins, by 4 AM they're on the road where there's little traffic except for a battalion of garbage trucks and street cleaners who are heading back to the city garage. He takes Union Turnpike to Meadow Lake Road, driving 495 east spanning the Hudson River to 95 which runs along the coast to Florida. On 95 south Lucia lights a joint, as they smoke the couple is overwhelmed by feelings of glee. Lucia puts a cassette in the tape player saying, 

darling, do you think the maguina will eat the tape? He says, 

odds are, yes!  

She turns the stereo up, there’s a bass woofer under the front passenger seat that causes it to vibrate, Lucia says, 

oh my god bebe, the musica vibraciones are making my culo shiver!

Santana’s album, Freedom is playing, 

after driving 4 hours, bypassing Philadelphia, they pull off the turnpike at Wilmington, Pennsylvania, following Main Street until they reach Hazel’s Restaurant, which has been there since the early 50s, a place time has passed by.

They park near Hazel’s, rolling the windows down a few inches, leaving the Chis in the station wagon. Inside the couple sits at the counter, ordering from the menu, the waitress, a chubby older lady comes to the table, Henry orders,

we’re as hungry as a couple of nanny goats, how bout, steak and eggs, rye toast, hash browns, waffles and a couple of hamburgers to go. The waitress nods her and says, 

got ya, if you need anything whinny! 

The hamburgers will be breakfast for the Chi’s, Che and Mia. 

The order is cooked on a flat metal grill dextrously by a thin old man in whites wearing a paper chef's cap who looks like he had learned his trade in the joint.

In no time they are served, as they eat Lucia says, 

this is real comida Americana darling, I love it. 

Back in the station wagon, she feeds Che and Mia hamburgers as Henry drives to 95 south, once on the turnpike he says, 

baby reach in the cool box and pull out some beer! 

It’s was 11 AM and the couple is drinking already. Beer like soda pop for them, booze and dope buoyed them up on high, without it, life was an annoyance. Lucia puts a cassette in the tape player, The Rolling Stones, Sticky Fingers, lighting a joint as Dead Flowers simmers through the bass woofer, wobbling her culo, making her horny. 

In 4 hours they exit at Perry Hall, Maryland, driving a short distance to Gunpowder State Park, stopping at the entrance and buying tickets as the park ranger reminds them to keep their dogs leashed and to bag pooh-pooh. Henry who didn't care for cops nods his head, then driving through a wooded area to a grass and sand beach on the Middle River, parking on the grass. 

There are a few scattered families barbecuing but the area was mostly empty because summer was over. He takes the straw mat from the station wagon, laying it on a patch of grass. The couple removes their shoes and sweatshirts, walking a few steps to the Middle River and sitting in the shallow area as they watch the Chis paddle about. The streaming river water is greenish clear, cool but not tepid. He says, 

if I pee in the Middle River, it will flow throw the Chesapeake Bay into the Atlantic Ocean, Lucia raises her eyebrows and says, 

dios mio bebe, are you loco? Get real, take me into the bushes and fuck me! My culo is dripping wet from the vibraciones of the bass woofer.

After 20 minutes the couple and the Chis get out of the water, walking wet to the straw mat, drying off and taking a nap, when they wake in an hour he says,

we can make it to Raleigh, North Carolina in 4 hours if we drive non stop.

Reaching Raleigh in the next few hours translated into 15 hours on the road that day. Henry hot-footing it for no reason, the only deadline in front of him was next week’s story for HEADBANGER Magazine. He was in a race with himself to nowhere, this having everything to do being a man. Lucia rarely knew what time it was and didn’t care because the foremost thing on her mind was sex.   

Back on 95 south Henry is speeding, Lucia lights a joint and opens a couple of beers for the road, asking Henry, 

bebe, what’s the hurry, you tense? 

I don’t know,

As he drives she turns towards him, bending as she pulls his shorts down below his knees, grabbing the base of his cock, squeezing it as she sucks like nobody’s business, tea balling him until he cums and moans deeply, saying,

you must be horny darling, she answers,

No problema bebe, the vibraciones from the bass woofer have shaken my culo so much that I’ve had to change my panties 3 times.

They smoke refer and put a Ravi Shankar cassette into the tap deck. As he drives a far-away feeling blankets the couple, a soul-felt feeling cascading from the dark side of the moon. 

In no time they exit 95, driving to Raleigh. Henry parks at a phone booth, going inside, letting his fingers do the walking, calling a pet-friendly motel, the Como Inn, getting directions and saying, 

OK, babe, we're good to go!

The Como Inn is classic motel style with a neon sign and an ice machine out front, looking like the Bates Motel minus the morbidity. Henry parks and goes inside the office, a friendly older man wearing bifocals, a flannel shirt and suspenders says, 

what can I do you out of? Henry saying,

I need a room for 2 and we have a couple of Chihuahuas that are housebroken, the desk clerk says,

that’ll be 30 dollars, oh, here’s a copy of last week's Raleigh Downtowner if the pups need to relieve themselves. 

He drives the short distance to room 108 and parks. They roll the suitcases as Che and Mia follow, opening the door and going inside. The room is basic, with a tile floor, a boon for a doggy friendly motel. 

The couple shower and pass out naked in the double bed without drying off, loaded to boot, sleeping until noon the following day. After checking out Henry drives to a McDonald’s drive-through, ordering hash browns, Egg McMuffins, a malt, and 2 coffees.

It’s an 11-hour drive to Miami on 95 south, Lucia rolls a joint as big as a cigar and says, 

like it bebe? It’s Cubano style!

you bored doll? You musta used a pack of Zig Zags to roll that monster!

He picks a cassette from the console, putting it in the tap deck, B. B. King, Why I Sing the Blues, the blithe sound baths them in glowing happiness. Life was never better for the fun-loving couple who lived for the day.

After driving a couple of hours, Lucia says,

darling I have the munchies, let’s get deseirta!

He turns off 95 at Florence, South Carolina, a rural town that is known as the intersection of Highways 95 and 26, driving down Main Street and parking in front of a local diner called Red's. 

Inside, they sit in a booth, noticing a rebel flag on the wall above the counter, an ominous sign. There is a group of farmers in overalls, all with sweat stains on their Mac shirts and deeply wrinkled necks, sitting at the counter eyeballing Lucile. A waitress walks to the couple’s booth and Henry orders, 

we’d like some peach pie, some coconut cake and a bowl of ice cream, the waitress says in quivering voice, 

mister, we don’t serve coons, he answers, 

my wife isn’t black, she’s Cuban, 

then, the cook who’s scraping the grill behind the counter turns and looks at the couple, pointing his spatula at them, saying, 

you’re outta luck bud, that pinko bitch of yours ain’t no different than a coon. Henry whispers to Lucia,

go to the car, get in and lock the doors, then asking the doe-eyed waitress, 

how bout a peach pie to go? 

the thick-necked grill cook answers for the young waitress who is caught in the fold, saying, 

look here jew boy, if you want pie around these parts go to negra town! 

Henry rips a dollar bill into small pieces, tossing the pieces on the table and walking out, saying nothing. 

Back on 95 south Lucia says,

that was freaky bebe, let’s have a beer! She reaches into the Coleman cool box behind the front seat and pulls out 2 cold ones, then putting a cassette in the tape deck, Dave Mason’s Alone Together, Henry saying,

good choice doll, one of the best albums of the 70s! 

In 4 hours they reach Jacksonville, Florida, Henry speeding most the way like he had a get out of jail card for free. At Jacksonville, they exit 95 to visit Blanding Wildlife Management State Park, stopping on the way in Middleburg to buy a dozen donuts and 2 large coffees. 

Inside the park, they drive a short distance to an area with some picnic tables which is a pine plantation that supports Red Cockadad woodpeckers. Sitting at a picnic table the couple delight in the sounds and serenity of nature as they eat donuts washed down with hot coffee. 

Then out of nowhere, dropped from the heavens maybe, a baby woodpecker lands on their table, its a male with a red crown and black speckled body. Lucia feeds the baby donut crumbs. As they get in the station wagon the Chis follow and the baby woodpecker flies in, landing on Lucia’s shoulder and perching there, she says, 

darling, let's take the baby with us, 

He agrees as he drives south, the baby woodpecker, who Lucia names Pedro, perches on Che's back as the Chis play, riding him like a cowboy on a bucking bronco. Henry and Lucia laugh so hard that he has to pull the car off the road because their stomach were cramping.  

In 4 hours they reach Palm Beach, driving to a phone booth he once again looks through the yellow pages for a dog and bird-friendly motel, finding El Patio Motel on Highway 1 across from the Pacific Ocean. El Patio Motel was built in the early 50s and hasn’t changed, still white with green asphalt shingles. 

It’s 8 PM, Henry walks into the front office, a single building with a green neon sign in the window that reads,

                                  FRONT OFFICE

the front desk clerk who looks like someone’s grandma says, 

welcome to El Patio Motel, we’re pet-friendly, but no gators or mountain lions! Henry laughs and says, 

we have 2 Chihuahuas and a baby woodpecker, the old gal laughs saying, 

How about your pecker, is it healthy? Still laughing he answers, 

I’m a happily married man, the desk clerk laughs as she gives him an old-style motel key attached to a green kite-shaped keychain, room 7. 

The couple walks to the room pulling their suitcases and the Chis follow, the baby woodpecker Pedro is perched on Che’s back, enjoying the ride. 

The following morning they check out at 8 AM, driving Highway 1 south to Key West where they plan to rent a small house and stay for the winter, the same as thousands of New York snowbirds who flock to Florida to escape winter do. Henry pulls into a Popeyes drive through, saying,

let’s see? We’ll have some birdseed, a couple of doggy biscuits and a bowl of water, just kidding! OK, 2 loaded chicken wraps, a shrimp Po’ Boy, 2 banana puddings, 2 coffees and a gallon of lemonade. Lucia saying, 

that’s a lot of food darling, he answers, 

we have a big family to feed with now that we have little Pedro, even though he eats like a bird! 

He pays and pulls out of Popeyes, they eat as he drives down the highway, Lucia feeding the Chis and little Pedro who raises his head and chirps after each bite of banana pudding, which was his favorite. 

Henry drives nonstop to Key West, making it in an hour. As usual, pushing the limits for no reason, getting there by sundown and parking the station wagon near Sloppy Joe’s bar. The couple sits at the bar, Henry pages through the Key West Citizen want ads looking for a house to rent, then going to a phone booth. 

He connects with a high school kid who is renting out his parent's house. It’s a single-story, furnished 2 bedroom house with a fenced-in yard lined with palm trees. Henry figuring the trees will be nice for Pedro to peck on as he matures. The kid rides a Vespa scooter to meet the couple at Sloppy Joe’s, Henry buys him a drink, the kid says sadly,

my parents died last month, I'm shattered but I need to move on with my life, rent out their house and go back to college.

They follow the kid on his Vespa to the house and go inside. The place has a homey feeling because it’s filled with furniture and nicknacks the kid’s parents had collected over a lifetime. 

He wants 1300 a month, pricy but average for houses in Key West in the 80s. Henry gives him 2600 dollars, first and last months rent, the kids says, 

thanks, Henry, just deposit 1300 dollars monthly at the Wells Fargo Bank in my name. Oh, I’ll leave the Vespa for you guys to get around on.

The kid writes his name and phone number on a piece of paper, then putting on a backpack, walking out the door and disappearing into the night.

The couple brings their suitcases inside, the Chis follow as Pedro rides Che in. Then, Henry and Lucia go the porch and sit on a hanging wooden swing chair,  Henry saying, 

wow, what a blessing! What a sweet kid, we’ll take good care of the place and make sure he gets his rent on time, Lucia then saying, 

little Pedro is our lucky charm!