12/31/22

Blackbird's Warning



Henry and Lucia are in the kitchen drinking coffee and munching on donuts when Henry looks out the window and says, 


let's go to the beach darling.


They dress quickly, down-sizing, wearing extra large tank tops over swimsuits, then packing beer, sushi, and hashish in their iced-down Coleman cooler.


Reaching St. Vicent's Beach, they park their scooter and walk mid-way down the beach where they string a cheap Mexican hammock between two arching palms, realizing they're alone and stripping down. 


Settled, Lucia lies in the hammock, Henry grabs a couple beers from the pint-sized cooler, handing one to her, they're thirsty and Lucia says, 


the first sip always tasted the best.


They pull on a hash pipe, passing it back and forth, Lucia chuckles and says,


I can see Cuba, bebe.


Oh Yeah, what does it look like? 


Like pain and suffering, quierdo.


Sweating, they run into the waves, then body surf, losing themselves in it, riding the surf until exhausted, then walking ashore and falling asleep under the palms. 


They nap awhile, then walk as the sun sets in the West, tired, hungry, loaded, and wanting to go to bed. 


Finally reaching the parking area where they load up the Vespa, revving it as they take off.


At their bungalow, they hustle to the patio and shower, rinsing off in cold water and then getting into their hot sauna. Henry lifts Lucia’s thick and fleshy ass on the top of the sauna, resting it flat, spreading her legs to tongue her clit.


Gyrating as she cums she spritzes pee in his face, he laps it up, grinning. 


After a nap they get up at eight, walking along the ravine to Ricco's Bar and Grill,  a friend locals call Blackbeard.


They order Rum Cocas, a one-of-a-kind blend of coca oil, coconut water, and rum.


Henry kisses Lucia shamelessly tonguing her then coming up for air saying,  


life is a dream for us and I'll love you forever, 


you swear, bebe?


Yes, I do— say Blackbeard we're going to toast loving forever how bout a few more drinks?


OK, but I'm gonna warn ya, they sneak up on ya dog, Lucia says, 


oh, you're a perro now bebe?


all three laugh. 


After eating the lovers begin to come down, staggering out of Blackbeards and making a B line for home.


In a short time they reach the bungalow and are so loaded they lose control of their motorbike, crashing into the Bougainvillea bushes, getting scratched up, and going to the kitchen where they lovingly tend to each other's wounds, Lucia says, 


quierdo, we were warned by Blackbird about the Rum Cocos, and we didn't listen! 


Yes, Lucia. 


12/23/22

We Three Kings


Some Christmas memories are atypical and have nothing to do with—garlands, cozy fireplaces, ornate cookies, eggnog, the giving of stuff, and mistletoe. 


This is a story about a seasonal memory that has everything to do with the magic of youthful adventure and little to do with Christmas.


Henry and his parents traveled to Acapulco from Mexico City on Christmas eve,1966, staying at The Las Hamacas Hotel, across the street from Acapulco Bay in the central city.


The Lucowski family show at the small-time hotel in a pink Cadillac limousine at 10 AM, checking in and going to the canopied dining area by the pool for a late breakfast. 


The hotel serves a homespun and memorable breakfast— freshly baked hard rolls, Churros or Mexican donuts, sliced avocados, tomatoes and cucumbers, bananas, fresh strawberry papaya, eggs, bacon, and brewed coffee. All of it served in a fun, relaxed manner on tables covered with white linen. 


The Mexican waiters wearing white chaquetas and black pantalones are known for their dark sense of humor— directed at each other and the gringo guest. 


Like, telling a woman with a wig on, 


señora your hair is bonita! 


Or, saying to a kid who isn't eating,


Niño, finish your breakfast or Papá Noel is going to bring you coal for Christmas. 


And, telling an elderly woman who's dining with her husband, 


señora, take it easy on the Red Snapper you're eating, he looks like your husband.


After breakfast, Henry goes across the street to a taco bar on the bay, his parents will go for souvenirs, crap really— bogus machetes that couldn’t cut butter, silver from Taxco that turns green, cheap sombreros wrapped with Shrink Wrap, stuff!


Anyway, Henry's sitting at a taco bar on Acapulco Bay drinking a beer at a small table. He puts a hand full of pesos in a jukebox filled with 45 RPM records, the hippy music of the day— Sopwith Camel, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Hendrix, The Doors, and Jefferson Airplane. 


At 16 he’s an easily tempted, astute lover of everything native— psychedelic music, incense, exotic and erotic literature, who’s constantly reading— Hemingway, Henry Miller, Anis Nin, William Faulkner, William Butler Yeats, Kerouac, and even the Kama Sutra, but still a virgin.    


He notices a young couple approaching, crossing the street, coming from his hotel, they are walking arm in arm. As they pass he leans towards them, asking them to sit down, they oblige.  


Their siblings, Juan and Moon, 16 and 15 respectively, also staying at The Las Hamacas Hotel.


Moon’s fetching, willowy with long chestnut hair, wearing glasses, looking nymph-like, a child who's becoming a woman. Her older brother Juan is cool, lean, tanned, with long sideburns, his hair parted in the middle, a member of the Carte Blanca surf club of Southern California.


After a beer, Juan sees a shadowy figure walking the beach who locals call El Mago, The Magician. 


Juan stands, running to catch up with El Mago, then walking down the shore with him.


Henry and Moon talk over beers at the cafe, for them, love is in the air.


When Juan returns, he sits down at the small table, the lover’s trance fades as he says, 


look under the table.  


Juan flashes a plastic bag full of golden buds, Acapulco Gold. Henry was familiar with ganja, having read about it in Kerouac’s On the Road, and Henry Miller’s book Big Sur.


At sundown, the trio walks across the street to The Las Hamacas Hotel, going to Juan and Moon’s room. Their mother is staying next door and she respects their privacy. Something, Henry’s parents didn’t see as an innate right of youth.  


They sit on the single beds at the center, facing each other as Juan rolls a joint. Eventually, he lights it, instructing the nascent lovers on the art of taking a pull.


Draw steady, hold the smoke in long enough for it to flow through your veins, heart, and brain. Whatever you do, don’t fish lip the joint. Moon laughs at her brother saying,


fish lip? Where'd you dig that up? 


After smoking awhile, they laugh at nothing, and anything— exaggerated, fun, laughter. 


Finishing the doobie, the trio walks through the patio door to the pool, sitting poolside with their legs dangling in it, tossing fallen flower peddles into the blue water, watching ripplets expand outwards as their chakras open magnifying their senses. 


Henry stands on the poolside, bolting to his hotel room, returning with a paperback copy of Yeat's The Land of the Heart’s Desire, going to the diving board and standing at the end, reciting poetry,


Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame!  


Juan and Moon stand and applaud.


On Christmas Day they wake at sunrise, giving their parents the run-around, taking a taxi to a beach on the Pie de la Cuesta coast. There's a rundown film location behind the beach where scenes of Johnny Weissmuller's last Tarzan film were shot by RKO in 1948.


The beach is packed with Mexicans who went to Mass on Christmas Eve to honor the Baby Jesus.


Going to the beach on Christmas Day helps the Mexicans to shake off the stifling circumstance of praying for hours in church pews the night before.


You can hear Ranchero music blaring from beachside cantinas, shacks made of bamboo and thatched straw roofs serving, fresh grilled chicken and fish, tortillas, refried beans, rice, beer, tequila, and soft drinks.


Juan, Henry, and Moon walk away from the crowd to an isolated area of the beach with a single cantina. They place a large Las Hamacas bedspread on the sand, strip down to their swimsuits, and drink Pacifico beer.


Juan body surfs while the precocious teens, Henry and Moon, talk about esoterica— 


What is life? 


Is there a God? 


Did Martians create the human race?


The young lovers bond intellectually, physically though, their both virgins.


At sunset, the trio catches a taxi back to The Los Hamacas Hotel and go to their room. The virgin lovers lay in one single bed and Juan passes out on the other. 


At this point, Henry's parents were missing him and suspected something was going on.


Henry and Moon make out on the bed, breathing hard, deep kissing, fumbling, confused, finally getting naked under the sheets— getting closer to first-time coitus.   


Hit and miss, he locates Moon’s pink taco and gently puts the meat to it, getting off in record-breaking time, 30 seconds. She's surprised, shaken some, and she can't recollect feeling anything.


As for Henry, he couldn't have pulled it off if he hadn't read the Kama Sutra.


In that it was their first time, the lovers clean up more than they need to, Moon spends 40 minutes in the shower. 


They walk out the patio door to the pool. Henry’s mother, Linda, is waiting and she corners him. He realizes he missed Christmas dinner with his parents and she reads him the riot act,  


Henry, what were you doing in THAT hotel room with THAT girl? Where have you been for the last two days? Your father and I have been worried sick. You could have left a note at least.


She smacks him around, cross-slapping him European style on both cheeks in front of Moon. 


He's more embarrassed than hurt.


His mother goes on with the sermonizing, she’s juiced on Martinis.


Henry, you missed Mass. It's Christmas Day, a time for families to be together and to pay respect to the Lord. I can smell beer on your breath, and God knows what you've been doing with THAT girl? Go to confession tonight.


Linda opens her purse and pulls out a Rosary, handing it to him, knowing her son is beyond hope and backsliding. He says to her, 


Ma, you drink too much, so forget about sainthood!


Speechless, his mother does an about-face and goes to meet his father somewhere.


In spite of missing Mass, Christmas Dinner, and getting chewed out by his mother, the happenings over the last few days are an awakening for Henry.


Maybe, the magic of new love discovered was paramount to— garlands, cozy fireplaces, ornate cookies, eggnog, the giving of stuff, and mistletoe.  


Juan, Henry, and Moon— We Three Kings, or Two Kings and Queen, win the crapshoot of life, this time around anyway. 

12/20/22

The Blob, re-HaSheD,

 





Mayday was Monday this year, on May 1 as usual, Henry and Lucia are sitting in the kitchen talking and she mentions May Day,


quierdo, May Day was a big holiday in Cuba, we loved it because we were off for a couple of days, it was for us a day to honor workers everywhere. As you know it's not a big deal in the US, but there's a massive celebration in Cuba, Fidel would pack them into the stadium, he had great charisma. 


Did you know him, 


Yes, his chauffeur picked us up most nights, nightly, in fact, delivering sexy women to his house. 


Were you kidnapped by him? 


No, I was young and willing, going for the food, drinks, and the renewed social status one got knowing el Presidente of Cuba.


Did you fuck him? 


you bet I did, he was hung like a toro and had grandes bolos.


So, balling Fidel was a litmus test for you? 


I told you I have no regrets.


I guess none of us do, I was a whore at birth, from the time my mother breastfeed me. 

 

don't bust my gonads, hijo ta puta.


yeah OK, 


Henry the ovary talk is making me horny, I’m going to take a shower and play with my pussy, 


can I jump in? 


The couple showers, fucking standing up. 

 

It was a record-hot hot day in Harlem so they dress down, putting on running shorts, tank tops, and flip-flops.


Outside their Harlem apartment, they walk westward. Blinded by the sun, they reach into their pocket for their sunglasses, putting them on.


By noon the love couple is in lower Manhattan, sitting at the counter of Katz’ Deli, ordering lean corn beef sandwiches, coleslaw, cheese blintzes, and washing it down with vanilla soda.


Benny Katz, a well know Kosher restauranteur in the city says


the food and beverage industry loves cocaine? 


Gotta an eightball for me, Benny? 


Do I look like a metisin pusher Henry? OK, look closely at the desert kugel, you'll see an eightball in the serving pan.


The freaks walk Times Square, walking off their meal, going into alleyways, snorting a little less than an eightball off of shiny dumpster tops with a rolled-up dollar bill. 


In Times Square, looking up at the Ziegfeld's marquee, there’s an 8PM showing of the cult classic, The Blob with Steve Mc Queen. 


At the cash booth, Henry pays by credit card. They take baby steps to the front row where there’s plenty of legroom and the sound is booming. Henry asks his wife,   


did you see The Blob in Cuba? 


No, scenes of freedom aren't tolerated, Hollywood films rarely made it through Cubano censors. 


The couple’s full of anticipation as the opening score, Beware of The Blob by Burt Bacharach comes through the venue JBL speakers.  

In the opening scene a teenage kid named Steve, played by 28-year-old Steve Mc Queen, witnesses a meteor crash in a cornfield. When he goes to investigate, he finds an old man being consumed by what looks like a hand full of purple jam. Convinced the Blob is a ghoul, the kid runs to town to report the incident and of course, the sheriff thinks he’s crazy.

The flesh-eating and spinless Blob was brewed on mars, as it expands it swells up, consuming people whole. The film which in theory is terrifying comes off as goofy. Lucia laughs and says,


el show es estupido, not scary! Henry chuckles, handing Lucia a box of gummy bears, hoping they pacify her. 


The Blob expands, evolving into a semi-truck size ball of goo oozing into town, squeezing into the Colonial Theatre, and absorbing a few hapless movie-goers.

As The Blob seeps out of the theater, the young hero, Steve, sprays it down with a fire extinguisher and notices the CO 2 fumes cause the jelly-bellied Blob to recoil. 


Steve then convinces a mob of angry town folk to grab every available fire extinguisher in town and spray the bugger down, freezing it in place. 


Later, the Air Force shows and tows the big-size ball of man-eating so-to-be-frozen solid jelly to a transport plane, dropping it into an arctic wasteland somewhere up north. 


As the couple exits the Ziegfeld they walk threw a curtained complex and Henry asks,


whad ya think girlfriend? 


Hollywood, USA is the greatest place in the world.



12/12/22

My Wife the Cubano Milf






It’s noon in New York City. 


Henry worked most of the morning, three pages of gibberish about Martians and Angels, scrapping it. He can’t get on track. 


Lucia walks into his study wanting to go out,


Quierdo, let's eat close by, somewhere we can walk to. 


It’s a fall day in Harlem, they shower then comb patchouli oil into their hair and braid it. Dressing the same, not unisex, more macha in jeans, and flannel shirts, stepping into NIKES for comfort.


Walking East Harlem they can feel something special in the air, people are out in numbers, walking in shades, plugged into their Sony Walkmans, and openly smoking pot. 


After walking for twenty minutes Henry and Lucia reach Home Sweet Home, going in and sitting in a booth.


The waitress looks like Judy Garland, she's wearing black, nice looking, older, with a bright red wig on.


They order three sweet potato pies, one to eat there and two to go, craving Mexican coffee, the Garland look-a-like informs them, 


customers love the sweet potato pie, more than pumpkin pie, both blacks, and whites,  I’m off in a few minutes can we settle up early? 


Henry pays, noticing it’s getting dark, clouding over, Henry grouses like an old man as he carries a brown bag of pies under his arm,  


God Damn Daylight Savings Time, winter days aren’t long enough. 


Walking in Harlem they decide to go for a drink at the Metal Trap Taven, standing at the bar and ordering a pitcher of fresh lemonade spiked with Russian vodka, Lucia tells Henry, 


I OD’d on sweet potato pie today, we ate a pie each,


don’t worry Lucia, they're small, you look great, you’re the sexiest MILF in East Harlem. 


What’s a MILF, Henry? 


Old lady, I’d like to fuck.


Do you think I’m beautiful?


yes of course, I see other guys looking at you.


They catch a taxi, rolling drunk in the back seat they chat, Henry asks, 


what have you been reading? 


Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera in Spanish, Gaby’s native tongue.


you're on close terms with Gaby so you call him by his nickname? 


Si Henry, when I read his books, I feel like I’m there, 


and what about your husband's work?


Your work is a world away from his, he won the Noble Peace Prize for Literature in 1965, are you in the running? 


maybe, but, it's more important to me to feel heavenly, 


quierdo, I love your stories.


She senses what's coming, you get to know someone when you've lived with them for ten years.


Don’t say it, I know the look, Henry, 


I’m gonna say it anyway, Vincent Van Gogh, known to aficionados as Van Gawk, he was famous in death only, what were we talking about?


We were talking about Marquez.


At their Harlem apartment, go in, walking up three flights of stairs. Henry chuckles saying, 


I’m gonna whoop you this time, 


in a flash they're leg wrestling naked on the floor, Lucia has long muscular legs, and she twists Henry's body into a donut, spinning it, winning every time.


They order Chinese food and watch cable TV— Cinemax.


Scare Face the Al Pacino vehicle is on, they've seen it hundreds of times and can't keep their eyes open.


By 2AM, waking in front of the TV, Stripes with Bill Murray and John Candy is on, Henry says yawning,


John Candy was a genius,  


Stripes, how about mañana doll, let's go to bed, I'm tired.




12/5/22

Every Point on its' Surface Equidistant From its' Center



 



My last story, A Brief Brown Study of Hunter S. Thompson (w/ a Keith Richards Interview) is a tough act to follow.

It's fall 1983, Henry wakes up early, turns in bed, necking with his dark Cuban wife Lucia, appreciating the warmth and alluring scent of her neck.


She brushes him away, not in the mood, engrossed in an NFL game she watches on her portable Sony Trinitron, rooting for the Giants who were 3-12 that year.


Hail Fred Exley and the Giants when Frank Gifford was quarterback, the QB said years later,


To me, Vince Lombardi was the difference between my becoming a good pro player and just another halfback. Anything I accomplished in this game I owe to him.


Henry tucks his head into the door saying to Lucia who's still in bed, 


get dressed sweetie, let's go to the Village, 


we'll eat dinner at the Whitehorse Tavern, then take in Joseph Beuys's show at MoMA? Lucia says grinning,


show me the way, Querido.


They take their time, drinking coffee, eating hash brownies, laughing as they leg wrestle on the living room carpet, watching, on and off, a VCR of a  Rolling Stones concert. Loving the scene where Kieth Richards hits a concertgoer who has jumped on stage with his Fender in a sea of balloons and the legend continues to play, as security removes the guy.  


Feeling good after a shower, they dry and dress simply in jeans flannel shirts and leather boots. 


Rubbing and combing in coconut oil then braided each other's hair. 


Outside they walk to the subway, reach the escalator, riding it down into the 125th Street Harlem station, where they wait for the D train to Greenwich Village.


After an uneventful ride, they walk the Village going directly to the Whitehorse Tavern, the oldest bar in New York City, they grab a booth. 


Bluesman Jimmy Rogers hit Bluebird is playing on the jukebox — the Horse is downhome. 


The waitress looks sharp in her red fluorescent wig and white and black outfit, going over the menu,


we're serving broiled catfish or shark, Kansas City strip steaks, and lamb chops. Our sides are guava beans, mashed sweet potatoes, garlic bread, and assorted salads. Lucia orders, 


we’ll have the catfish, a strip steak, sweet potatoes, garlic bread, and cole slaw bring an extra plate so we can share. 


And to drink? 


A pitcher of German beer,


I’ll get your pitcher now. 


Henry says to Lucia, 


when you eat at the Horse, you're in the tall pine, babe.


After dinner, they walk a few blocks to MoMA, Joseph Beuys's performance bit canceled because he's in the hospital with pneumonia, fireman Steve Buscemi will fill in for him.

The venue fills up fast, Buscemi is a local celebrity.

His show is in the museum’s basement, the crowd stands around him as he says,


I woke up this morning feeling even, 50 percent this way and 50 percent the other way. 


A single light bulb is hanging from a cord over his head, and sirens are blaring as small flood lights shine light waving back and forth behind him.


At the conclusion of the show, the light bulb explodes, then magically lights again as if nothing happened. 


After the show, Henry and Lucia walk 10 blocks to Club Birdland, taking the opportunity to light up, passing a joint back and forth as they walk through the canyons of New York City.  


Club Birdland hadn't changed over the last 40 years, the red cotton and mohair stage curtain always seemed to reek of mole and the black and white checkered tiles were wearing.  


There will be a show honoringThelonius Sphere Monk, who died last year in 1982, honoring the man and his work performed by local city musicians. 


Thelonious Monk was born in North Carolina in 1917. His family moved to New York when he was 6 years old. His mother become the sole breadwinner when his father returned to North Carolina. 

From then until the 1980s, Monk lived in the same small apartment— with his mother and siblings. 

At 14, he was contributing to the family’s income by playing at rent parties in the neighborhood.

At 16, he became a professional musician. One of his most recorded tunes Round Midnight was written when he was only 18. 

He played in groups throughout his 20s, but his inclination towards idiosyncratic experimentation made him difficult to jam with.

In terms of jazz history, his role as a member of the Out of Hour’s Players— a group of musicians playing to small local crowds at Minton’s Playhouse in Harlem in the 40s was tantamount. 

Jazz luminaries such as Dizzy Gillespie, Charlie Parker, and Ray Brown would step in and play the sessions from time to time.

As others in the scene were hailed as innovators, Monk remained a background figure, admired by fellow musicians when his music was considered to be an acquired taste.

He lived for music, forgetting to eat and going days without sleeping— wandering from one club to another to sit in on the jams. 

Monk was generous with his time and money, even while struggling to make ends meet for his family. Encouraging younger musicians to be self-disciplined and look for their authentic voice, once saying, 

play your inner self.

His demons were fired by his use of dope, he loved smoking weed and drinking in murky club settings.

When Thelonious was 34 he lost his cabaret card for holding some heroin for pianist Bud Powell, consequently, he was unable to perform in New York City clubs for 6 years. 

This was like the open door behind the closed door for Monk. 

Fellow jazzmen who sat in on the European tour soon discovered Monk was dysfunctional socially without the structured environment his wife provided for him when in America.

He was known for episodic schizophrenia, seemingly in his own world, and occasionally seen laughing to himself.

In New York after the European tour, he spent a week in a mental health center cared for by a celebrity doctor who prescribes vitamins, psychotropic medication, and group therapy which brought him out of himself.

Eventually, Monk receives the recognition he deserves— his portrait makes the cover of Time Magazine in 1964, and the issue also ran a short article on him.

His mental and physical health declined till the end. 

He spent the last 6 years of his life withdrawn in his Harlem apartment watching TV in an easy chair.

In the end, Thelonious Sphere Monk deteriorated from being an inventive, talented, and humorous being, becoming a tired recluse, shutting his jazz friends out, and truly Blue Monk.

Henry and Lucia drink German beer and watch the show at Birdland Club until 2 AM, catching a taxi home to their Harlem apartment, and going to bed in their underwear with the TV on.