In 1985 the first Columbia space shuttle was launched from the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida, a city that would be a non-starter without NASA.
The shuttle Columbia was piloted by Robert L. Crippen and John W. Young. The biggest splash the astronauts made during their time at NASA was when they landed the shuttle, overrunning the runway and ditching the craft in a muddy pond.
As the shuttle entered the thermosphere flames from its main engines seared the wings and hair off a flock of angels, disrupting Heaven's composure and riling up St. Peter, who in turn reported the melee to the Gods.
Two weeks ago Henry and Lucia were on a road trip to Key Largo and they met Summer Wynd. In no time the threesome fell in love and are presently shacking up in Key West. She's a 24-year-old, model lovely, runaway ballerina, much younger than the couple, proof that love is amoral.
It's noon, Henry is writing in his office, the phone rings, it’s HEADBANGER Magazine editor Dave Spleen, a well-known speed freak who took bennies to help him meet deadlines, speaking at whirlwind speed,
sweet stuff, last week's story, Runaway Ballerina, a home run, New Yorkers loved it, HEADBANGER Magazine went through 5 reprints. Is it true? Henry chuckles,
yeah, all true, the 3 of us are in a, you ready for this? Polyamorous relationship. Dave Spleen turned on,
polysexual relationship? You dog you! Henry goes on,
sure it’s sexual, but we’re sleeping with
each other one on one, no threesomes yet!
Lucia and I were drinking on a deserted beach, there was a loud cosmic boom, love goo percolates through the clouds and Summer materializes. Love reigns triumphantly as sunbeams herald the dawn of the tribe. Dave thinking Henry is laying it on a bit thick says,
for fuck's sake, can the theatrics, so, what are you working on? Henry answers earnestly,
I'm writing about the day to day hooey of the tribe, Lucia, Summer, Che and Mia our Chihuahuas, and Pedro the woodpecker. Speed freak Dave says in less than a nanosecond,
OK man, gotta go, gotta deadline to meet!
It’s 10 AM at the tribes Key West bungalow, Henry and Lucia sip Mexican coffee on the front porch, the Chihuahuas run in circles on the lawn and Pedro the woodpecker drums out a beat as he pecks a palm tree, losing himself in the cadence, much like Gene Krupa.
Summer brings a hot German pancake in the skillet to the front porch, serving it to Henry and Lucia. It’s filled with berries and has powdered sugar sprinkled on top. Lucia’s astounded as she takes a bite,
goodness, the crepe is maravillosa darling, you're so talented!
As they eat the colossal pancake, cutting it like pizza, Summer wonders,
dearies, I have a job interview at 2 and I'm going to need a lift, Henry volunteers,
Lucia doesn’t drive I’ll take you, where is it? She replies,
The Martha Graham Dance Academy, it's downtown, he says,
We’ll take the Vespa, Lucia cuts in,
not without me, he then says,
OK, we’ll take the station wagon!
The tribe was hip to boot, but occasionally the day to day business of the threesome was as apple pie as The Brady Bunch.
Lucia gives Summer a dress for the interview. It’s a short ride to The Martha Graham Dance Academy, in a few minutes they're there, looking at one another and laughing, realizing they should have walked.
Henry parks across the street from the dance academy, near the down and dirty Dolphin Lounge. Summer crosses the street, walking to the dance academy and going inside. It's in a single-story brick building, at the receptionist desk she says,
My name is Summer Wynd, I'm here to interview for the teaching position, the receptionist looks at her blankly, handing her an application on a clipboard, saying,
fill this out! Miss Aecup will be with you shortly.
Summer doesn't know the tribe's address so she makes one up. She had danced with the New York City Ballet for 10 years and the Ballet Mistress, Rosemary Dunlevy, was good for a glowing recommendation.
Miss Aecup enters the lobby, she greets Summer, they walk into her office and sit down. She is thin and flat-chested with a prominent mole in the middle of her forehead, like a 3rd eye, giving one the feeling Aecup is all eyes.
She glances through Summer's application, practically dropping a load as she reads that Summer had danced with the New York City Ballet, saying,
Miss Wynd, you are overqualified for the teaching position, and, we can't meet the salary the New York City Ballet paid you. Summer is taken aback, collecting her thoughts and then retorting,
Miss Aecup, whatever the academy can afford is fine. Your students have an opportunity to study with a noted ballerina, don't deny them that opportunity! She has Aecup in her little pocket,
Miss Wynd, come for orientation on Monday, you'll be teaching with Gay Johnson, a member of the Royal Miami Ballet.
On her way out she walks by the milk and water receptionist ignoring her, thinking,
Royal Miami Ballet? What a crock of shit.
Across the street, she sees the station wagon is empty and goes into the Dolphin Lounge, it's 3 in the afternoon and the tavern is dark and thick with smoke.
Expecting to see Satan bartending, she sits on a barstool next to Henry and Lucia. They are drinking Boilermakers with a South Floridian poet known as Sucker Fish, a middle-aged hippie with long sun-bleached hair, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cut-offs. She tells everyone the good news,
I start teaching Monday at the dance academy, Lucia orders a round of Boilermakers for the tribe and Sucker Fish, feeling happy for Summer,
wonderful darling, let’s celebrate!
Sucker Fish's life is one never-ending carnival, he stands on a barstool to recite a poem he has written. The barflies in the Dolphin Lounge are hunched over their drinks, their minds nowhere, oblivious to Sucker Fish who begins his recitation.
Hear ye, hear ye, landlubbers and scuttled buccaneers! I dedicate this poem to the bootylicious goddess of the sea, Florida's very own Amphitrite, the drop-dead gorgeous Lucia Varga!
Come to the beach
Where the sea is blue
And little white waves
Come running at you
A wave comes splashing
Over your toes.
You just standstill
And away it goes.
We’ll build a castle
Down by the sea
If you’ll come with me.
Summer rolls her eyes, looking at Henry and mouthing the words,
let’s get outta here,
still, on the bar stool Sucker Fish bows to the audience of sodden barflies, he accidentally falls on the floor, laying there in serious pain, holding his arm.
Henry goes to Sucker Fish, wanting to help the wounded poet, noticing the bone of his left forearm has broken through the skin, yelling at the bartender,
call 911!
The Key West Fire Department shows in seconds, carefully lifting poor Sucker Fish into a foldable stretcher and rushing him to Key West Medical Center.
As the tribe leaves the Dolphin Lounge the 10 or so barflies are frozen in place, slumped over, anesthetized and dispassionate.
Driving home Lucia is shaken and says,
I will never go to Zalón de Delfines again, it’s an awful place! Henry laughs,
In English, it's called the Dolphin Lounge!
The scene at the Dolphin Lounge was distressing. Inside the house, the Chihuahuas, Che, and Mia jump and shake, happy to see the tribe as Pedro the woodpecker chirps, perched on the TV.
Lucia is busy basting a chicken that is in the oven and boiling red beans and rice. Henry's watching Monday Night Football in the living room, Summer is sitting at the kitchen table chopping Collard greens and asks,
do you like Henry’s cock? Lucia smiles broadly answering,
yes, I love to swallow his cum, it tastes like salty raw oysters and chlorine. Darling, I think you know I turned tricks in Havana for years. Fidel Castro was a regular, he was hung like a burro and he’d sprinkle cocaína on the head of his pene, we would fuck for hours. El comandante’s esperma tasted like bloody bullets. Summer laughs out loud and says,
my love, your pussy tastes like duck sauce from a Chinese restaurant, so delish!
As the 3rd period ends, it's the Dolphins 20 and the Eagles 6. Dinner is on the kitchen table, the girls sit on each side of Henry who is at the head of the table wondering,
Should I pray to the Gods for something, a Mercedes Benz maybe, or should I ask them to bless the food we are about pass through our digestive tract? Lucia thinking he was talking nonsense breaks in,
cut the shit Henry, you think you're prayerful? Well, you're not! Everybody knows you're an atheist. He goes on, turning a deaf ear to Lucia,
Anyway, I was watching the ballgame, and let me tell you football’s no aphrodisiac, but, I was thinking about the times I’ve gone down on you guys. For reasons unknown, I took a double-A battery out of the remote and licked it to see if it tasted like pussy, and it did.
The girl's wondered if he was eavesdropping on their carnal tête-à-tête in the kitchen? Summer bringing the conversation home says,
Wouldn't life be a drag if we all tasted the same?
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