My old man, Henshaw a junk and my ma, Golda sells pussy for junk.
I raised raise myself, cleaned myself, fed myself, got myself myself outta bed in morning to go to school no matta what the weather
Only 6 years old, day after day at 7am, gettin on number 153, the green city bus, alone, shaken, a toothache, athlete’s foot itchin, burnin, smellin, goin to school; The deck is stacked against me.
By 8am I’m tucked into Washington Elementary. It feels safe,my first grade teacher is Miss Petunia, she smells good, I get a we-man hard-on at nap time when she bends over tucking me in.
Who knows where babies come? At 6 I thought,babies are made when a couple held one another tight.
I discover masterbation, in the tub I rub my small cock with soap, I cum in an instant, the stuff goes everywhere, it’s sticky, smelling like chlorine.
I’m laying the sofa with the radio on, listen too Burl Ives singin Big Rock Candy Mountain,I’m hungry, Golda says to me,
Henry I found cum on the bathroom floor,
I says to her;
fuck off Golda, she’s junk sick, she falls down, hittin her head on the tub.
No telephone, no 911, I put a towel on her head, watching her bleed out, happy she’s gone. Next up, my old man Henshaw, junks have short lifespans, unless your William Burroughs or Keith Richards.
On the green bus by 7am tucked safely in Washington Elementary by 8.
In class we sing the National Anthem, I do a Nazi salute, Petunia escorts me vice principle’s office, the Vice is hot, I sit across from her looking up her skirt, her legs are open,I can see her bush, she says,
Henry, our forefathers gave their lives to defeat Hitler,
yes mum, let me go, I’m sorry;
She bends to hug me, she’s sweaty, I love her heat, I’m hard, all 5 inches.
I get off the green bus at Howard Street, walking some, going to a ice cream shop water, ordering water, the waiter says,
young man you have to order or leave.
I go.
Golda is dead,I don’t want to go home so I go to the park a girl from class is there, Esther, she’s beautiful I sit next to her on a bench, we kiss instantly, she says,
lay down with me on the grass, lets see how far we can go Henry.
We fall asleep waking at 730 pm, we’re naked, I’m on top clueless, she puts my penis inside her, I cum in a few seconds, Esther gets pissed, we try again.
This time we’re fucking like pros, adult like, discovering different positions as we go along.
I cum inside Esther, she screams, a cop appears asking,
what are you kids doing naked in the park?
It’s closed you know, and your naked,
violation of Statue 388.
Come to the station, he drives us to Howard Street Outpost.
We drink cokes and Officer Dooley as he is knowns tells us,
kids, I’m too lazy to do the paperwork, nobody would believe it anyway.
He gives us a couple of bucks and we take Green buses home.
6 years later I’m a freshman at Evanston Highschool, I take the green bus there everday.
I’m a unknown, I like it that way.
By my junior year I discover Literature, Whitman, Ezra Pound, Raymond Carver, John Cheevers, Kerouac, William Carlos Williams, Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
Kerouac writes about pot in On the Road, they call it tea, I want to get high like the Beat.
I walk Howard Street, I see a black guy, he’s either a pimp or a pusher, I say,
broh? You got marijuana,
sure a palm full 5 bucks, it's wrapped in newspaper.
I run home full of hope, it’s gonna be a new day.
Home, I pack my old man’s corn cob pipe, lighting it with a Zippo, taking deep drags, coughing, finally able to hold some down.
I lay on the sofa, turning the radio on, WLS Chicago listing to
George Haley, Elvis, Chuck Berry, The Everly Brothers,
Music has never sounded this good.
I lay face up on the sofa, I go into a trance the ceiling swells ballon-like, opening, I soul travel, the sky opens into a endless stream of color I get lost in it.
I wake up, my life has changed.
Today I’m 23 years old, I teach Native American history at the Pinecrest Indian Reservation, go to pow wows, pass the pipe.
I’m invisible to the White world, wondering what’s next.
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