On this day in 1985, a Florida man who found out his father helped deliver him during birth inexplicably smashed a hot pizza in the older man’s face upon learning the news.
Pincus Sprinkle of Windmill, Florida was charged with assault and littering. He remains in the county jail in lieu of a $150 bond. At the trial, his lawyer pleaded
with the judge to wave the bond because his client is allergic to jailhouse food, particularly, baloney, moldy wonder bread, and kool-aid.
Sheriff’s deputies were called Thursday to the Sprinkle family’s home, where they found a pizza slice on a chair and cheese sauce strewn around the room. Evidence enough to send Pincus to the big house.
Henry and Lucia wake early, showering and shampooing each other's hair. She has waist-length naturally curly pitch-dark hair, his hair is long salt and pepper colored, which he braids Native-Indian style.
After showering and packing they enjoying a leisurely breakfast on the front porch— grapefruit, watermelon, brown sugar Pop-Tarts, shots of Ouzo and coffee. Pedro their woodpecker begs Lucia for Pop-Tart crumbs, nudging her with his beck. Henry pours Ouzo into a glass of water, with childlike zeal saying,
After showering and packing they enjoying a leisurely breakfast on the front porch— grapefruit, watermelon, brown sugar Pop-Tarts, shots of Ouzo and coffee. Pedro their woodpecker begs Lucia for Pop-Tart crumbs, nudging her with his beck. Henry pours Ouzo into a glass of water, with childlike zeal saying,
see this sweetie? When I pour Ouzo into water there's a chemical reaction causing the compound to turn cloudy, it’s called the Ouzo Effect! Thinking he's off his rocker she says,
amazing Louis Pasteur, my husband the chemist!
They will spend a night in Key Largo, a town with booguu dog and woodpecker friendly motels.
During the 40s the movie Key Largo was filmed in Key Largo, putting the small town on the map.
As the film opens a group of sadistic gangsters and kingpin Johnny Rizzo, played by Edward G. Robinson, take over the Key Largo hotel, holding a group of guests hostage because the gang was bored stupid as they waited for a boat to take them to Cuba.
As the film opens a group of sadistic gangsters and kingpin Johnny Rizzo, played by Edward G. Robinson, take over the Key Largo hotel, holding a group of guests hostage because the gang was bored stupid as they waited for a boat to take them to Cuba.
The mob plays fiendish mind games with the hostages in the claustrophobic lobby of the Key Largo Motel until Frank McCloud, played by Humprey Bogart has had enough. With pre-Bruce Lee lightning-quick moves, Frank unyokes Johnny Ricco's gun, pumping Ricco and his knocked sideways thugs full of lead.
Lucia carries a large Gucci bag as Henry wheels their iced-downed Coleman Cool Box, filled with Budweiser beer, 3 bottles of Jack Daniels and cans of soda water, loading the booze into the cargo area of their 1975 Chevy Malibu Station Wagon. The Chihuahuas, Che, and Mia follow as Pedro the woodpecker naps inside Lucia's bag.
It’s a 2-hour drive from Key West to Key Largo on the 7 Mile Bridge which spans the Islands of the Keys. Most of the drive is over water, with the Gulf of Mexico on the port side and the Atlantic Ocean starboard. Driving north on Highway 1 he invents a drinking game,
It’s a 2-hour drive from Key West to Key Largo on the 7 Mile Bridge which spans the Islands of the Keys. Most of the drive is over water, with the Gulf of Mexico on the port side and the Atlantic Ocean starboard. Driving north on Highway 1 he invents a drinking game,
OK, babe, there are 6 towns on the road to Key Largo, whataya say we make a pit stop at each of em and down a shot with a beer? Lucia giggles,
and the one who fucks up The Finger to Nose Test buys dinner, Henry fired up,
OK, you're on!
The first stop is Summerland Key, Henry wheels the station wagon off the highway at Bahia Honda State Park, passing the public beach to a deserted corner of the park with a single picnic table. As they open the tailgate of the wagon the Chis and Pedro bolt out. The couple wheels the cool box through the sand to the lone picnic table, downing a shot and sucking down a can of beer.
Lucia takes off her tank top and bra, swaying back and forth from the waist up, causing her immense natural orbs to oscillate.
The Chis paddle about in the ocean, worried about sharks and high waves Henry calls them in, Pedro is in a pine tree, pecking away, drumming out patterns of sound like Morris Code.
A 26-year old girl with braided hair, wearing a knitted bikini top and short-shorts glides gracefully up to the couple, placing both her hands on Lucia's breasts, speaking softly,
your aura pulled me to you.
The willowy beauty rubs Lucia’s chest, they become inflamed and french kiss, deep long kisses. Henry knows what's coming and says,
OK, time out! Let’s have a drink for fuck’s sack and get to know each other.
OK, I’m Summer,
we’re Henry and Lucia.
Summer pulls a joint of skunk weed from a small crocodile-skin backpack, they pass the weed around. Summer opens up, telling her story,
I’ve been dancing since I was 5, I was danseur suje with the New York City Ballet, success came at a price though, look at my feet!
She has calloused feet and her toenails are thick! Describing her painfilled past,
I paint my nails because they’re black. My back is shot and I have tendonitis. Professional ballet was eating me alive and I had to get out, so I left New York and have been on the bum ever since. Pedro flies to Summer, perching on her shoulder as Lucia says,
poor bebe, come with us to Key Largo!
Henry drives north on the highway and Summer sits between the couple in the center of the front seat. She pulls a cassette tape from the glove box, putting it into the tape player— Stay with Me by Faces, it’s a getaway song, the station wagon overflows with feelings of intimacy, sexual vibrations, and anticipation.
Everybody's hungry, he wheels off the highway, driving through the town of Marathon, seeing a quaint Cubano cafe, La Nina Restaurante, parking and leaving the pets in the car.
Inside they sit down in a booth, it's an all you can eat buffet, Summer blushes,
Inside they sit down in a booth, it's an all you can eat buffet, Summer blushes,
you 2 go ahead and eat, I’m broke darlings, Lucia hugs her,
Henry and I love you bebe, you’re family, we’ll take care of you!
The 3 of them feel warm and connected as they walk to the buffet, it’s loaded with everything Cuban—Masitas, Mojo, Yuca, fried plantains, pulled pork, polla, rice, and beans, with flan and donuts for dessert.
Summer fills her plate, she hadn’t eaten in a few days, Henry concerned she gets enough to eat,
doll, feel free to go back and fill your plate!
doll, feel free to go back and fill your plate!
After a while, she walks to the buffet for a 2nd serving, her plate brimming over with deliciosa comida Cubana. Henry gets the ball rolling,
Summer did ya know Lucia is Cuban? We met there, she was the love goddess of Havana, known for her beauty, and I’m gonna tell ya, Castro’s balls ached for her! Lucia cuts in,
Summer did ya know Lucia is Cuban? We met there, she was the love goddess of Havana, known for her beauty, and I’m gonna tell ya, Castro’s balls ached for her! Lucia cuts in,
watch it maldido puta, don’t go too far with this, Summer interjects in a quiet manner,
it's true, Lucia's exquisite I want her! Henry hooting out loud,
Oh, don't worry, she’ll jump your bones when we get to Key Largo. Eat up Summer, you’re gonna need the protein when she gets ya in the sack! Lucia gives him the evil eye, arching one eyebrow,
you’re being an asshole Henry, we were in a groove and you shit all over it!
As she works on her 3rd plate of food, the fun couple orders a pitcher of Bucanero beer mixed with Clamato.
Summer was above the fray, radiating violet light, she could daydream and change the world.
Henry and Lucia weren’t spiritual, their relationship was an ignoble game of tit for tat, he would bait her and she would spit the bait back. But, their crosstalk was a mere lark, anger didn’t have a place in their life, they were in love with each other and in love with the world, naively blind to the agonies of the world.
They were thrill-seeking hedonists who couldn't tell you who the governor of Florida or New York was because they didn't care. Henry didn't vote and Lucia had lived most of her life in Cuba, seeing first hand the damage extremist politics could do. Politics were for anybody but them.
Henry goes to pay the bill, a heavyset bald-headed Cuban with a pencil mustache, wearing whites, who's standing behind the cashier says,
Henry and Lucia weren’t spiritual, their relationship was an ignoble game of tit for tat, he would bait her and she would spit the bait back. But, their crosstalk was a mere lark, anger didn’t have a place in their life, they were in love with each other and in love with the world, naively blind to the agonies of the world.
They were thrill-seeking hedonists who couldn't tell you who the governor of Florida or New York was because they didn't care. Henry didn't vote and Lucia had lived most of her life in Cuba, seeing first hand the damage extremist politics could do. Politics were for anybody but them.
Henry goes to pay the bill, a heavyset bald-headed Cuban with a pencil mustache, wearing whites, who's standing behind the cashier says,
does the hippy chica have tapeworms? She ate like a burro! You're esposa is Cuban so I won't charge you double.
As Henry drives the highway north, Lucia feeds the Chis and Pedro leftovers smuggled out of the cafe. Pedro enjoys the fried plantains, moving his head back and forth as he nibbles the tiny bits from her hand, happy she comments,
my little Pedro loves to eat!
my little Pedro loves to eat!
Luca lights a joint, passing it around, Henry decides to drive non stop to Key Largo, it's a 1-hour drive from Marathon.
Summer is wedged between the couple in the front seat, she takes a cassette tape from the glove box, placing it in the tape player. Rocks Off, a Rolling Stones riff, plays as Henry jibes,
Summer is wedged between the couple in the front seat, she takes a cassette tape from the glove box, placing it in the tape player. Rocks Off, a Rolling Stones riff, plays as Henry jibes,
there's nothing in the world Lucia loves more than getting her rocks off! She comes back with,
did he tell you he gets down on his knees and begs me to squirt on him?
As the Stone's riff Soul Survivor plays Henry pulls into Key Largo, going to a phone booth, thumbing through the yellow pages to find a dog-friendly motel. He calls Pop’s Motel, it fits the bill, getting directions. Key Largo like Key West has 3 main streets so finding Pop’s is a cinch,
He parks at the front office, Lucia, Summer, and the Chis get out of the station wagon, walking around, looking the motel grounds over as Pedro flies to a palm tree to do some pecking.
He parks at the front office, Lucia, Summer, and the Chis get out of the station wagon, walking around, looking the motel grounds over as Pedro flies to a palm tree to do some pecking.
The grounds couldn’t be better, there is a private beach surrounded by palm trees on 3 sides.
The motel has 12 bungalows, the rooms are 100% kitsch but homey— walls paneled with imitation walnut wood, the prevalent colors are, dark brown, light brown and vanilla, tacky framed prints like you'd see in a Salvation Army store line the walls, and the bathrooms have cheap plastic shower curtains.
The motel has 12 bungalows, the rooms are 100% kitsch but homey— walls paneled with imitation walnut wood, the prevalent colors are, dark brown, light brown and vanilla, tacky framed prints like you'd see in a Salvation Army store line the walls, and the bathrooms have cheap plastic shower curtains.
Henry walks into the front office. At the counter, he sees an old guy resembling Charlie Weaver standing by his wife who looks like the Grandma logo on a package of Grandma’s cookies. The guy goes through a canned spiel,
Welcome to Pop’s Motel, I’m Pops and this is my wife Dumplin, we're a pet-friendly, Christian motel, no hanky panky, alcohol or drugs allowed!
Henry thinking, staying here will be like living in a convent, but it’ll be a hoot breaking the rules! He kisses up to Pops,
Henry thinking, staying here will be like living in a convent, but it’ll be a hoot breaking the rules! He kisses up to Pops,
Praise the Lord Pops and praise you too! I need a large room for my wife, our teenage daughter, 2 Chihuahuas, and a woodpecker. Pops likes what he hears, thinking Henry is Christian,
will you need a cot son? Henry replies,
will you need a cot son? Henry replies,
no sir, Pops, my wife, daughter and I are very close, inseparable, sleeping together comforts us.
He pays Pops for a couple of nights and takes the key for bungalow 107. Then, driving the station wagon to the bungalow as the others follow walking, Pedro preferring to hang-out in the palms and peck.
The bungalow is large, with a kitchenette, and a mini-refrigerator. They walk inside and turn on the air-conditioner, Summer walks to the ice machine near the front office, Pops is standing outside, smiling,
I met your father, he reeked of alcohol, but he assured me he's a good Christian. Summer puzzled says,
cheers, Gramps!
Back at the bungalow, Summer brings ice and makes drinks, Jack Daniels and soda. Henry ques them in,
Pops is a born again, no hanky panky, straight-up guy, we’ll play along with him, he means well!
Lucia notices a painting of Jesus over the bed, which she takes down and puts in a drawer, saying,
I don’t want Jesucristo looking down on me while I’m screwing, it'll make me feel guilty!
It’s 8 PM, the Chis are asleep, Pedro pecks on the door, Summer lets him in and goes back to bed with Lucia, rolling a joint. Henry is watching Monday Night Football on TV.
The girls light the joint, exchanging mouth hits, then making out, tenderly biting one another’s lips, enjoying the paltry pain as their bodies shiver. They go down on each other, gyrating briskly, moans become screams, the phone rings.
Henry's wrapped up in the football game, unaware the girls are balling. It’s Pops,
Henry, your neighbors in bungalow 8 have complained about the noises coming from your bungalow! He's ready with an alibi,
Oh yeah, right Pops, Our daughter Summer has the lead in her high school play, Cape Fear, we’re cold reading it with her, going over the scene where Leigh Bowden finds a private detective with his throat cut in her kitchen and screams. Pop’s chuckles,
I see Henry, it’s OK to rehearse, but no screams, please!
After the football game at 9 PM they go out for a late bite to eat, and more drinks, leaving the pets in the bungalow. Henry drives through the small town in no time, driving out of town on a dimly lit back road loaded with pot-holes, by chance finding the Caribbean Club.
The joint oozes history, founded in 1938, it’s the oldest bar in the keys. It started out as hangout for hard-drinking local fishermen and by the 40s it became backroom gambling den. In 1947, Warner Brother’s screenwriters used the bar for inspiration, writing the screenplay for Key Largo there, typing and drinking away in the tavern. The scenes in the lobby of the Key Largo Hotel were shot at Warner Brother's studios in Hollywood and the outdoor bits were filmed in proximity to the Caribbean Club.
Henry parks the station wagon in front of the tavern, inside they sit at an old wooden table. The bar has a high beamed ceiling, the beams are dark from age. There’s a taxidermy mounted Blue Marlin behind the bar and a small sign hanging over an old cash register, reading,
NO CREDIT CARDS
The walls are paneled with imitation wood and the barroom is cluttered with neon beer signs on the walls.
There’s a group of serious boozers sitting at the bar, looking like the barflies in The Elbow Inn, the tavern in the Charles Bukowski bio-film, Barfly.
The bar-goers eyeball Lucia and Summer, who they think are movie stars, there is a marked contrast between the girls and the barflies.
There's no waitress, it's self-service, Henry walks to the bar, jotting down his order on a piece of paper using a pencil. He orders fresh crab-legs, catch of the day which is Grouper, a large plate of hash browns, and 3 plastic buckets of Rum Runners. The buckets of booze are ready in a flash, Henry playing waitress serves the girls saying,
There's no waitress, it's self-service, Henry walks to the bar, jotting down his order on a piece of paper using a pencil. He orders fresh crab-legs, catch of the day which is Grouper, a large plate of hash browns, and 3 plastic buckets of Rum Runners. The buckets of booze are ready in a flash, Henry playing waitress serves the girls saying,
I guess I'm the designated waitress tonight, you 2 are fagged out, suffering from orgasm fatigue, Lucia yawns,
if you could get it up, we wood-a asked you to join in!
Henry and Lucia are constant drinkers, the word alcoholic wasn’t in their vocabulary. Summer drank nonstop as well, delighted to be with people who drank the same as her. The only difference between the threesome and the barflies is, they are active drinkers who didn't sit in a tavern all day and night.
Henry walks to the bar to pick up the dinner trays, the girls laughing, figuring he was so loaded he might drop a tray. After eating they drink snifter glasses of cognac, later Lucia says,
I'm drunk, I feel sick! Summer loves her and is concerned,
Henry let's take her back to the motel!
He drives back to Pop’s Motel on the same back road he drove to the tavern on. Lucia is laying in the cargo area of the station wagon with her head on Summer's lap, who is cradling her and holding a wet towel on her forehead.
Henry's way, way smashed and driving perilously on the poorly lit road. There’s a loud thud as the car hits something, he gets out with a lit flashlight to investigate, seeing an alligator scamper into the bush.
Henry's way, way smashed and driving perilously on the poorly lit road. There’s a loud thud as the car hits something, he gets out with a lit flashlight to investigate, seeing an alligator scamper into the bush.
Back in the car, Lucia has spewed all over, Henry is shaken up by the accident,
I hit an alligator, luckily he’s OK!
In the bungalow at Pop’s Motel, Summer helps Lucia into the bathroom, bathing and spoon-feeding her ganja tea, which soothes nausea. After the bath, she puts Lucia to bed.
She and Henry walk to the motel beach and sit on lounge chairs, smoking pot, he says,
She and Henry walk to the motel beach and sit on lounge chairs, smoking pot, he says,
Lucia is allergic to shellfish, we were so loaded we forgot. Summer walks towards him, sitting on the edge of his lounge chair saying,
poor baby, we'll make a delicious breakfast in the morning!
Then she reaches out to him, clasping his head with both hands as she looks into his eyes saying,
I love you guys so much!
poor baby, we'll make a delicious breakfast in the morning!
Then she reaches out to him, clasping his head with both hands as she looks into his eyes saying,
I love you guys so much!
They deep kiss, then she pulls his shorts down past his knees, going down on him, sucking him full tilt, getting on top of him, riding cowgirl style.
After finishing they go skinny dipping in the ocean, holding one another and looking at the moon. Henry waxing,
today felt like an eternity, as though time was marching in place, marking time till we rounded-off a full circle.
