It Was 4 AM wHen I PaniCked.

 

I think it was 4 AM when I panicked. I was in bed looking up, and Lucia’s laying next to me, when I realize yesterday’s story, Super Bowl I Will be Televized was dead from the neck up.  

I deleted the story here, on Twitter, and on Tweet Deck. 

Super Bowl I Will be Televized, Part 2

The last prize goes to Briana for her high-octane and dangerous halftime show. The bit was an accident waiting to happen, Briana and her dancers were laced on their platforms with thin metal wires and bubble gum. 

The words, if there were any, to her songs were unintelligible, she sang with a lisp, even falling asleep at times. 

Her show was so lousy that Rupert Murdoch refused to sign her check.  

Jenifer Lopez's halftime show last year was better, she has the biggest ass on or off the pitch.

As for the game, 2 teams were playing, one from the east and the other from the midwest.

Team east dominated the first half and the midwest dominated the second.

As the 4th quarter ticked down, it was too late for the east to do anything, the midwest had them in a chokehold. 

Another issue was, players and even refs were slipping all over the field throughout the game like they were playing on a hockey rink.

Everybody knows the refs were paid off by the Hunt family, Clark Hunt, and Tavia the lit-up cowgirl, making out like 7th graders when things went their way, Tavia says to Clark, 

the game isn’t just about winning, or love, it’s about champagne, Lear Jets, Lamborghinis, money, and God. 

Dunkin Donut Ben Affleck hawking Buenelos and coffee, fucking up at first and then on a roll, reaching out to the next in line. 

Henry and Lucia marvel at the ball player's moves, likening them to ballet, Lucia comments that, 

el grande culos turn me on, half the players are gay.

Baby, there's a new ho on the block, the NFL, they're holding and don't wanna share, it's a travesty, the NFL, picketed by beggars demanding squatters' rights for the homeless. 

The ads for the USFL games are enticing, only 8 weeks away, I'm hooked already, I'll sign up. 

USFL players move the same way the NFL guys do, dancing during celebrations, belly down on the end zone turf, and paddling imaginary bodyboards into the Gulf of Mexico.

After the game, Henry and Lucia shower and go to the beach, just bringing money.

At Dog Beach, they sit in chairs watching the swimmers, and the ski boats, long surfboards, and canoes in the horizon.  

Eating peanuts they’re harassed by seagulls so they cross Beach Road to the Moon Dog Cafe where they take a booth, Henry tells Lucia, 

seagulls are like stealth rats.

Remember our pet woodpecker, Pedro? 

The bartender writes down the order as Henry says, 

we’ll have raw clams, oysters, bbg'ed octopus, shredded lettuce, lime, garlic, and olive oil,

and to drink, folks? 

rum cocas, of course,

I’ll place your order with the raw chef and then make your drinks.

Jimmy, mixes coca paste, mint leaf, soda, and brown sugar and pours it into a pitcher. 

The rerun of Super Bowl I’s playing on the overhead TV, Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful, America's Black Alternative Anthem. 

Here's what they say,

Oh, beautiful for halcyon skies for amber waves of grain.

For purple mountain majesties above the enameled plain, America, America, God shed His grace on thee, till souls wax fair as earth and air and music-hearted sea.