Atomic Bomb Tequila

 

Henry and his wife Lucia are eating tropical breakfast at 8AM by the pool at El Hotel Hamocas in Acapulco and he comments, 

isn't it a lovely day darling? And she replies, 

I want a divorce, I fell in love with a muscle man I met on the beach yesterday. He's hung like a burro. 

Henry shocked says, 

there's more to life than cock size and muscles.

Yeah, sure, right, pendejo, Rico and I are soulmates. So let's get a move on, my lawyer is paying off the judge for the divorce. 

The Mexican divorce takes 45 minutes.

Walking out of the courthouse Henry asks,

  

what about our bungalow in Key West, Lucia?

The deeds in your name estúpido. I’m going to pack, I have a date with Rico at Farmacia Sanborns for lunch.

In the room, Lucia slings her clothes and makeup into a suitcase and walks out without saying goodbye.

Henry goes to the patio, sits down, lights a joint, feeling dejected, and thinks, 

time to man up, I’m gonna pull my socks up and dive back into life, fuck Lucia. 

He changes into cut-offs, a Hawaiian shirt, rolls his long hair into a bun, and walks across the road to the beach. 

With his shirt off, sitting on a hotel towel, he smokes another joint, staring at the Pacific Ocean. A stunning Mexican woman in her 40s, with long black hair looking shapely in a bikini approaches him and asks,

how bout a toke, Guapo? He smiles and says

by all means,

She sits next to him and says, I’m Rosa, what’s your name, 

Henry. 

Are you single Henry? 

Yeah, I’ve been divorced for 45 minutes, 

they laugh hardily, and Rosa asks,

you're joking, aren’t you? 

No, my wife fell in love with a muscle man yesterday, love's an endurance test ain't it?

Yes, it is Henry,

what do you do, Rosa?

I live with my family in the hills of Morelos, we own a ganja-seasoned tequila factory, the mix is called Atom Bomb Tequila. 

Wow, that's novel Rosa.  

She sits closer and says, 

I like you, Henry, 

I like you too Rosa, maybe we're soulmates same as my X wife and her muscle man,

they laugh.

I’m taking the 3PM bus to Morelos, come with me querido, you can meet my family and see our tequila farm.

Rosa wraps a rebozo cloth around her bikini and they walk across the road to El Hotel Hamocas.

In Henry’s room, they fall into each other's arms and make out on the bed for a while. Then he packs and checks out. They have a few hours to blow before the bus departs and Rosa says, 

common, let’s have a few drinks at Sunset Bar it’s near the bus station.

They sit at a table outside Sunset and order tacos, guacamole, enchiladas with mole sauce, and rice, washing it down with Pacifica beer. Rosa tells Henry,

I was married before, my husband was a drunk who’d beat me, so my brothers tied him to a table and cut 2 of his fingers off with a machete. That was the last we saw of the burro. We write our own laws on the tequila farm.

They board the bus at 3PM. Tight from the beer they lean on one another as the bus rolls uphill through the Coculo Mountains.  

At Morelos Station, they’re met by Rosas's brother, Antonio, who smiles broadly, happy to see his sister.

Antonio puts their bags in the back of his 4-door Black Ram pickup. 

The Atomic Bomb Tequila farm is 30 kilometers outside of Morelos City, up country. 

Rosa tells her brother, 

Antonio, Henry's grand, he’s a freelance writer, our family will love him as I do. 

The farm’s front gate is opened by a vaquero with an AK-47 strapped on his shoulder. 

Inside, the pickup moves slowly over a dirt road through 1000s of acres of Blue Agave cactus used to distill tequila.

Then the pickup passes acres and acres of marijuana plants.

The family lives in a hacienda built around a landscaped courtyard and surrounded by a walkway lined with Roman arches.

Some meters off to the side is the tequila factory, a brown brick building with an arched roof and a large smokestack that reaches up to the sky.

Antonio grabs the bags and they go inside.

The hacienda floor is inlaid with handmade tile, the ceiling’s constructed of yellow-brown Bocote wood, the walls are covered with modern Latino art, and there's antique furniture made of rustic wood everywhere.

Inside Rosa introduces Henry to mamá y papá, and her older brother Hector. The family's cordial. Then Rosa says, 

there's a pleasant breeze and the sun's setting, let’s go to the courtyard and sip Atomic Bomb.

They walk into the palm tree and bush-lined courtyard, sitting at a round wooden table. 

Maids place trays brimful with shots of Atomic Bomb Tequila, and plates of Mexican food on the table. 

Everyone raises their shot glasses towards the setting sun and papá proposes a toast, 

brindemos por el alcohol, las copas color de rosa de la vida.

here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.

Henry quickly downs a couple shots and says, 

Happiness is not knowing where you’ve been, where you’re going, or where you are.